Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following email from the reader who posts as “Duped no more!” She wanted to remind herself why she should not go back to the disordered partner
{A brief definition of my breaking NC, after almost 9 months, and a brief explanation of the experience and what I would say if I had to explain it to someone else. I had to send it to myself because there is nobody else but you who would understand}
“I went back for you, with my heart in my hand and you just devoured it with no care nor consceince.”
Nothing has changed; don’t listen no more; don’t go back!
This is it.
I have seen and heard what I needed to and now it’s time to move forward once and for all.
I have set myself free. The last few text messages that I sent, that have gone unanswered, are the last I am ever going to speak to him.
His love bombing didn’t work. In fact, it has only made me hate him more. NOW I am more determined than ever but I heard everything I needed to hear. EVERYTHING. Even more cunning than I had originally thought. That’s all right, I will keep standing this time. I am stronger than he is and as long as I am right here, where I live, around the people who live around me, I NEVER HAVE TO WORRY FOR my safety from him. HE DOESN’T HAVE THE BALLS to show his putrid face around here anymore. He PROVED that to me, by what he said about the last time he threatened me. He knows. “I saw the display of police presence while I was there the last time; bravo. Job well done! And I hadn’t even done anything, that time. I shudder to think what would happen to me if I actually DID do something.” I am glad he remembers.
It is sad our friendship has come to this. But, with a psychopath, it always comes to this.
He was just ‘phishing’ (this time) to see what he could get and he isn’t getting it from me.
Read more: Note to self — do not break the No Contact rule
The intrusion wasn’t based on any sort of ‘affection’ but one of ‘self serving nosiness’. An agenda, with an intent.
When the opportunity presented itself for me to look it in the eye
I am banishing the demon back to the cave from which it came, lest it devour me.
I have never witnessed such madness. Shocking and overwhelming. Yet, to others, as charming as a newborn baby.
Why, one would never suspect anything at all and most don’t.
I am getting strong and I am stabilized in my health; he is on the verge of ruining me again and I am not letting that happen.
I can’t believe there are people like this in our life!!! OMG: how ugly and horrid. Seems the nicer you are to them, the more they want to devour you. That’s all right, I informed him of my thinking of ‘going active’ — let him chew on that a while.
Then with my second farewell — I am not putting up with this bullshit no more. I have had it. He is going NOWHERE with his LOSER LIFE and the more you try to help him and be nice to him, the more you become a target for him so I am just done with it all. These people have no conscience about themselves other than what they want and will suck your life blood from you if you let them.
I have learned my lesson about NC; however, I had to go back and see it for myself.
I had to see for myself, just one more time and I have seen it and tasted it. I don’t want no more madness in my life.
I told him he was a lunatic the way he acts and he truly is. It can be very scary but I have learned that they are like they are because THEY are more scared of US than we are of them and that is why they hate us.
My advice to anyone = run away as fast and as quickly as you can and don’t look back. It isn’t ever going to change. Our believing in them only feeds their ego and their power — believe in yourself instead. It’s the only way to survive. Take care of yourself; look out for yourself. Surround yourself with beautiful and happy things and nice people and it will permeate your life. If you are constantly surrounded by darkness and sadness and sorrow, your life will become that as well. We can push the darkness out and away with the light. It starts with us, you and me.
I have a little life left and I plan on doing what makes ME HAPPY.
He and all his ‘minions’ can go straight back to the hell they came from.
Lovefraud originally posted this story on Feb. 5, 2012.
