For parents, managing emotions during the teen years can be difficult at times. Your teenager is trying to figure out life, which might mean they challenge or disobey you from time to time. Throughout puberty, hormones rapidly change, and emotions run wild as teens try to navigate a fast-changing world, new academic stressors, social pressures, where they “fit in,” and so much more.
Adolescents experience a mental rollercoaster. It’s essential that teens have a safe space to turn to for support and understanding. Learning how to deal with teenage emotions ensures you can offer advice they’ll understand and appreciate during this pivotal time of their development. It’s crucial for teens to learn to manage emotions effectively.
Keep reading to explore why teen emotions can be so unpredictable, and to learn how you can help them during this transitional time in their lives.
Understanding the Factors That Influence Teen Emotions
Many factors need to be addressed when we discuss teenagers and their emotions. Some — like biological issues — are hard to understand and control unless you take the time to really learn about them. Others, like social and external factors, can be more easily managed once you know what you’re dealing with.
Biological factors
Hormones affect emotional regulation, and the surge of testosterone and estrogen teens experience can increase stress sensitivity and mood swings. The brain develops quickly during these years, and areas like the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for prioritizing, planning, and making good decisions, are often heavily impacted.
How the brain develops can make it tough for some children to use logic or understand their emotions. They’re more likely to be impulsive and to have increased emotional responses that parents may not initially understand due to intense feelings. Once you know why these thought and behavior processes are happening, it can be easier to react with empathy instead of frustration.
Social influences
Teenage emotions actually make a lot of sense when you look at the incredible social pressure they’re under. Beyond being acutely aware of (and sensitive about) how they look, how others perceive them, and how they “fit in,” social media complicates things even further. There’s the added stress of constantly comparing themselves to carefully curated and edited versions of teens all over the world. They’re trying to live up to impossible standards.
Social dynamics and family structure also shape teenagers’ experiences, influencing their behavior and emotions. Peer relationships can become a central focus for many teenagers. The desire for acceptance and belonging can impact self-esteem, connections with friends, and emotions, as adolescents attempt to navigate new friendships and relationships while trying to understand social hierarchies.
External pressures
Stress during the teen years doesn’t just come from social struggles or hormonal fluctuations. It can also be caused by external pressures, like academic demands or concerns about future changes. Teens are expected to do well in school, manage their time, and excel in sports, clubs, and other after-school activities. Some work part-time jobs or take test prep classes, adding even more to already-packed days.
Learning how to balance everything can cause adolescents to experience anxiety, feel frustrated, or start to withdraw. When you can recognize the weight of the pressures teens are under, you can offer encouragement, support, and reassurance that this time in their lives won’t last forever.
How to Support Teens in Dealing with Their Emotions
Supporting your teenager as they learn to control their emotions is critical. You’ll need patience and understanding to gain your teen’s trust, and the strategies here, combined with intentional effort, can help you. Here are effective, practical ways to support your teenager.
Encourage open communication
Open communication is key to a healthy parent-child dynamic. Having a safe environment is essential when helping teens express emotions — they’re more likely to ask for support and guidance if they feel like they can talk to you. Make sure they know you’re there and don’t have to worry about harsh judgment or criticism. Ask open-ended questions (instead of yes-no ones) to encourage more dialogue. Above all, make sure they know you truly value their feelings.
Listen actively
Engaging in deep, meaningful conversations with your teen may feel impossible. That’s why, even when they open up in a small way, it’s important that you listen and give them your full attention. Active listening is a proven tool for effective communication— one that requires patience, empathy, and restraint. Instead of interrupting, trying to ‘fix’ the problem, or reacting dismissively, focus on understanding their perspective.
In other words, be quiet and resist the urge to respond with phrases like “It’s not that bad” or “It could be worse.” Instead, try to be reassuring. When there’s a break in the conversation, you can reply with compassion, using phrases like “I understand how that must make you feel” or “That sounds really tough.” This approach can make a world of difference in navigating teenage emotions.
Validate their emotions
Emotions run high for most teenagers, but even if they seem unreasonable or over the top, you want your teen to feel validated. Teenagers need to believe that you understand their feelings and the importance of emotional and mental health. Try not to minimize experiences they share with you — for example, don’t say things like “You’ll get over it” or “It’s not that big of a deal.” Acknowledging their feelings helps them feel calm, heard, and understood.
Foster emotional awareness
Helping your child recognize and express their emotions is one of the most valuable skills they can develop. When teens can name what they’re feeling—whether it’s anger, frustration, or sadness—they’re better equipped to handle those emotions in a healthy way.
But emotional awareness doesn’t come naturally to everyone. You can support your child by introducing simple, everyday habits that help them tune into their feelings, such as:
- Journaling: Writing down their thoughts can help them process emotions and identify patterns.
- Mood-tracking apps: A quick check-in can make it easier to recognize emotional shifts over time.
- Open conversations: Encouraging honest, judgment-free talks about their day teaches them that emotions are normal and manageable.
By making emotional awareness a regular part of their routine, you’re giving your child a lifelong tool for managing stress, building resilience, and strengthening relationships.
Suggest healthy coping skills
It’s crucial that teens learn a variety of coping skills to help them manage emotions in a healthy way. In fact, studies show that teens with multiple coping techniques have better academic success, higher self-esteem, and less suicide ideation.
Encourage your teen to use coping skills like:
“Using evidence-based techniques like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) to help teens identify and challenge negative thoughts with the help of a professional is important. CBT encourages teens to reframe irrational beliefs, replacing them with more balanced perspectives. Additionally, mindfulness practices such as deep breathing or guided meditation can help reduce stress, increase emotional awareness, and promote relaxation during difficult moments.”
Promote self-compassion
Self-compassion is a skill that helps reduce harmful self-talk and foster resilience. It teaches teenagers to reframe perceived failures as opportunities. When teens learn self-compassion, they tend to be less overwhelmed when they make mistakes. With every disappointment comes a chance for growth, and it’s important for teenagers to understand that everyone struggles in life.
“Teaching teens self-compassion is a key factor in building emotional resilience. By practicing self-kindness and avoiding harsh self-judgment, teens can better cope with setbacks. Practical exercises might include journaling positive affirmations or using a “self-compassion break,” where teens pause to speak kindly to themselves in moments of struggle.”
Support healthy habits
Research suggests that healthy habits have a significant impact on emotional well-being. Help your teen by encouraging them to get good sleep, eat a well-balanced diet, maintain positive social connections, and prioritize self-care for teens. Studies also show that regularly working out can stabilize mood swings and improve negative emotions. Healthy lifestyles, in general, will improve your teenager’s ability to cope with stress.
Respect their need for space
Your teen is growing, grappling with new emotions, responsibilities, and a deepening desire for independence. It’s a tricky phase for any parent. On one hand, you want to give them the space they crave, but on the other, you want to make sure they know you’re always there when they need you.
Respecting their need for space doesn’t mean stepping back completely. It means creating a balance—allowing them room to process their emotions while making it clear you’re a safe and reliable presence in their life. Let them know they can come to you on their terms, whether that’s through late-night chats, casual car rides, or simple check-ins.
By giving them the freedom to navigate their feelings with your steady support in the background, you’re helping them build confidence in managing emotions—preparing them for the day when they’ll have to do it on their own.
Set boundaries with compassion
Boundaries are crucial during the adolescent years. Even if your teenager resists, clear and consistent limits provide both safety and the freedom to explore independence. While they may not always show it, teens who have well-defined boundaries tend to feel more secure and develop stronger, more trusting relationships with their parents.
The key is to communicate boundaries with empathy. Instead of enforcing rules without explanation, involve your teen in the conversation. When they understand the why behind your expectations, they’re more likely to respect them—and you.
Model emotional regulation
Like all children, teenagers learn about the world by watching the adults in their lives. The way you handle stress, frustration, and conflict shapes their own approach to emotional regulation. When you stay calm during disagreements, express frustration respectfully, and respond to challenges with a level head, you’re showing them what healthy emotional management looks like.
Your actions speak louder than words. By modeling patience, empathy, and constructive communication, you’re giving your teen a blueprint for handling their own emotions—one they’ll carry with them for life.
“Teens are highly impressionable and often look to adults, such as parents, teachers, or mentors, for emotional cues. The behaviors and emotional responses they observe in these adults serve as models for how they manage their own feelings and relationships. Positive emotional regulation, empathy, and healthy coping mechanisms demonstrated by adults can greatly influence a teen’s emotional development, while negative or unregulated emotional responses may lead to challenges in their own emotional growth.”
Get professional help with teen counseling
If you’re struggling to connect with your teen or feel like your teen is out of control, it might be time to consider therapy. Professional mental health guidance can be a game-changer if you feel like your child’s emotions are unmanageable or they’re interfering with daily life and functioning. A skilled therapist can offer teens valuable, effective skills to help them navigate this challenging time in life. It can also help you understand the best ways to help.
Support Your Teen’s Emotional Journey with Talkspace
The teen years are critical. Identifying and managing emotions is a lifelong skill that allows adolescents to grow into successful, confident, resilient adults. If your teenager needs help and you don’t know what to do, Talkspace excels at helping teens express emotions in healthy ways.
Talkspace is an accessible, affordable, proven resource that offers online teen therapy. Therapy can be a safe space where teens can explore confusing emotions, discover healthy coping mechanisms, and practice emotional regulation in a supportive environment.
Whether it’s learning grounding techniques or anger management strategies for teens, Talkspace can help your child navigate their emotions. Reach out to Talkspace today to learn more about online therapy for teens.
