7 Body Language Mistakes You May Be Making

We spend a lot of time perfecting our words, whether we’re crafting the perfect DM, fine tuning a work email, or rehearsing how to ask for the WiFi password at the cafe without sounding too desperate. While words definitely convey a lot, the subtle cues we give off via our body language can speak volumes…and shouldn’t be overlooked.

The thing is, sometimes we do things without even realizing it in the moment—like crossing our arms or fidgeting with our sleeves. These body language habits are rarely intentional, of course, but they can potentially convey the wrong feeling or meaning. To help prevent any awkward vibes the next time you’re with others, review these common body language mistakes. 

Body Language as a Form of Communication 

We communicate in so many ways beyond words. From our actions to our facial expressions, tone of voice, and even the energy we bring into a space—every gesture, pause, and glance carries meaning. In fact, research shows that roughly 80% of our communication is non-verbal.

“We read bodily cues as well as verbal information,”  says Sophia Spencer, a psychotherapist specializing in cognitive behavior therapy (CBT). “It is important to keep this in mind when communicating, as our body language can give different intentions to what we are saying. For example, if I say ‘I had a weird day’ with my arms crossed versus with a large smile on my face, the inferred meaning of ‘I had a weird day could be completely different.” 

In other words, we’re able to infer quite a bit from others—and others can infer quite a bit from us—purely based on the combination of our body language and spoken words. Patricia Dixon, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist and author in Tampa Bay, Fla., says that body language is even a very important tool when working with clients. 

“For instance, someone might insist, ‘I’m fine,’ but if their shoulders are slumped and their head is down, I can’t help but wonder—are they really OK?” she says. “Our nonverbal cues often reveal the truth of our feelings and experiences. In essence, our body language either reinforces our verbal messages or puts them on a roller coaster ride of confusion.” 

Ultimately, science consistently shows that the way we move can significantly impact how others perceive us.

7 Common Body Language Mistakes

Obviously, we don’t want to change too much about our body language because it provides important context for anyone we’re engaging with—at a point, overthinking how we come across with our bodies is disingenuous.

However, miscommunication issues can arise when we inadvertently do something that doesn’t properly convey our feelings. A very common example of this is crossing our arms, which we may do out of not knowing what to do with our hands or simply because we’re cold.  We’ll dive into that example of body language mistakes and other big ones below. 

Crossing Arms or Legs

Many people cross their arms when they are relaxed or because it is a comfortable way to stand. “Unfortunately, many people interpret this as being bored or serious,” Spencer says. It can also come across as impatience or being closed off. 

Oftentimes we cross our arms simply because we’re cold. If that’s the case, it can always soften the impact of seemingly closed off body language if you say that out loud. That way, the impact of the crossed arms feels less standoffish and more warming,

Fidgeting & Other Nervous Gestures 

Fidgeting is something that happens when nerves, boredom, or excess energy take the wheel (often without us even noticing). Tapping, twirling, or constantly adjusting something can make us seem distracted or uneasy, even when we’re fully engaged.

“We’ve all been there—tapping a foot or fiddling with our hands,” Dr. Dixon says. “But fidgeting can signal discomfort or a desire to escape the conversation. It’s like your body is saying, ‘I’d rather be anywhere else!’”

That being said, this is a tricky one because lots of neurodivergent people fidget as a way to self-soothe or self-stimulate. These behaviors can keep autistic individuals or people with ADHD feeling grounded and regulated in their bodies. It’s important to be aware of these habits and acknowledge that there is no rudeness behind it. Nor is it easy for them to stop these behaviors even if they want to.

Looking Away or at Devices 

Similarly, not looking at the person you’re speaking with can potentially cause them to wonder if you’re engaged, interested, upset, or being dishonest. Or if they realize that it’s none of those things, it may convey a sense of anxiety or awkwardness. Dr. Dixon says, “Our eyes are powerful communicators, and when we avoid them, we create a disconnect that can leave conversations feeling flat.” 

We often automatically reach for our phones in idle moments or pauses in conversation. It’s a normalized behavior, but the effect is still disconnection or disinterest.

Resting Your Head in Your Hands 

Another common body language mistake is supporting our head with a hand under our cheek or chin when watching or listening to someone, Spencer notes. In casual settings this is perfectly normal and even expected. In professional settings, though, this one may not be ideal. “We may do this to be comfortable, to rest, or because we are thinking very deeply. However, it can be interpreted as bored or uninterested,” Spencer says. 

Poor Posture 

Slouching, hunching over, or sinking into your seat can make you appear disengaged, insecure, or uninterested, even if that’s not the case at all.

Good posture, on the other hand, signals confidence and attentiveness without saying a word. A simple adjustment, like rolling your shoulders back and sitting or standing tall, can instantly change the way you’re perceived, helping you look more self-assured and approachable. 

Unnatural Body Language  

Being overly aware of your body language—to the point where every movement feels rehearsed—can come off as stiff or inauthentic. Instead of seeming confident, you might just look like you’re overthinking your every move.

The key is finding a balance between mindfulness and natural expression. Rather than forcing “power poses” or calculated gestures, focus on being present in the conversation—your body language will follow.

Serious or Angry Face 

This isn’t a sign that you have to go around smiling all the time. You do you, and try not to sweat it. However, when engaging with another person, having a slight smile and wide, alert eyes conveys that you’re paying attention and interested. It says to the other person, “You’re important.” 

Some of us just have ‘resting mean face’ that we can’t always control, but Dr. Dixon says, “The truth is that a lack of smiling can project an unfriendly or unapproachable vibe—totally the opposite of what you might intend! A simple smile can go a long way in making you seem more welcoming.” 

Tips on Improving Body Language  

Simply being aware of body language mistakes puts you on the fast track toward communicating with more intention. Follow these additional tips on improving your body language.

• Be Self-Aware: Start by tuning into your own body language. “Think about how you perceive others’ nonverbal cues, and let that inform your own communication style,” Dr. Dixon says. You can also try rehearsing conversations in front of a mirror. It’s an eye-opening way to visualize what others see when you’re communicating with them. 
• Mind Your Expressions: Be intentional about your facial expressions and hand gestures. Dr. Dixon says that a balanced amount of eye contact helps, too—not too much to avoid staring, but enough to show you’re engaged. 
• Show You’re Listening: Simple head nods can work wonders. They express that you’re actively engaged in the conversation, creating a feeling of connection. Eye contact and smiling can also help. 
• Read Up on Positive Body Language: Avoiding no-no’s is one thing, but it’s also helpful to learn and incorporate purposeful positive body language. For example, “purposefully changing our body language to convey confidence and engagement, in situations where this would be helpful,” Spencer says. “Positive body language and awareness can help us perform better in situations, particularly work related.”
• Try Mirroring: “Subtly mirroring the other person’s body language can foster a sense of rapport,” Dr. Dixon notes. “Just be careful not to cross into the territory of mockery. It’s more about harmony than mimicry.  

Body language is a powerful, often underrated tool in our communication arsenal. It not only expresses our thoughts and emotions but also shapes our connections with others. 

Dr. Dixon says, “Good body language can help reduce conflict and create safe spaces for open dialogue. I encourage people to embrace your bodies as communicators and make your interactions richer and more meaningful.”