How to Read People Based on Their Body Language

Have you ever wanted to know what someone’s thinking, or what their motives are? Maybe it’s a colleague, someone you have a crush on, or simply an old friend you haven’t seen in a while.

We might not have telepathic powers nor can we read minds, but we can read people to gain insight, taking into account things like body language, nonverbal cues, and how they say things – not just what they say. 

It’s not an exact science, and everybody is different, but if you’d like to know how to read people like a book, this is a great starting point. 

The Psychology of Reading People

First, what does it mean to read people? Essentially, it’s the ability to better understand someone through nonverbal cues, communication, and behavior – you aren’t just hearing what they say, but looking at who they are through their body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions. Albert Mehrabian found in 1981 that facial expression accounts for 55% when it comes to how much someone is liked, while tone of voice accounts for 38%, and the words they use account for 7% – showing just how impactful it can be to go beyond what people are saying.

Carole Railton, FRSA, global body language expert, says, “As society is becoming more visual, with large lit up adverts, instant video, and conference calls, body language becomes more important. This new technology speeds up our decisions about others. We make up our mind about someone in the first few seconds, changing our opinion about someone takes a lot longer. First impressions count.

Key Elements of Reading People

“When reading people, we’re looking for basics first: facial expressions, physical stance, movement,” says Inbaal Honigman, body language expert. “Facial expressions can be happy, sad, or tense. Physical stance can be confident or nervous. Movement can be calm and deliberate or stressed and jumpy. A combination of all three can give us some initial clues about the person – but of course, there’s a lot more to it.”

Alexandra Stratyner, PhD, licensed psychologist, explains, “Body language can be a telling aspect of how a person is feeling or what they might be thinking, often revealing more than words alone.”

Create a Baseline

When reading people, remember that you’re dealing with human beings. Everyone’s different, and we all have our own patterns of behavior. Create a baseline of people’s normal behavior—if they often fold their arms, look at the floor, scratch their head—and then look out for any deviations from their norm. If you’ve noticed that they often do one thing when they’re nervous, and they’re doing it more regularly in this conversation, what might that tell you? 

Look for Body Language Consistency

“Consistent body language will display cohesion between facial expression, body posture, and movement. Excited face, excited pose, excited movements can tell you a lot when displayed all together,” says Honigman. “Inconsistent body language, such as a smile changing to a frown, or wringing hands suddenly dropping to the sides, show that the person is trying to hide how they truly feel.”

Look at Their Posture

Dr. Stratyner describes this as a good starting point, explaining, “Someone who stands tall with their chest open and shoulders back typically appears confident and comfortable. In contrast, hunched shoulders or slouched posture can indicate insecurity, defensiveness, or exhaustion.”

Watch for Mirroring

Often, people will mirror others. We have neurons in our brain that fire when someone mirrors us or when we mirror someone else. When the person we’re talking to smiles, the smile muscles in our own faces activate, for example. So, if someone doesn’t reciprocate and mirror us, it could indicate that they don’t like us or aren’t happy with us for some reason. 

Keep an Ear Out for Their Choice of Words

“The specific words a person uses can reveal how they feel or what they value. For instance, frequent use of ‘I’ might indicate self-focus or ownership of their perspective, while a lot of ‘we’ language suggests a more collective or team-oriented mindset,” says Dr. Stratyner.

Look at Their Breathing

“Breath speeds up when we are excited and slows down when we are relaxed. People who are always excited tend to have raised shoulders too, which can be an indicator of stress or that they are an extreme extrovert,” says Railton.

Common Mistakes When Reading People

Honigman says, “The most common mistake when trying to read people or ascertain their true intentions, is focusing on a single part of their body language or facial expression, rather than reading the person as a whole.”

“Many people will latch on to one clue and deduce what they believe the person to be feeling, but a cohesive body language extravaganza is needed, in order to figure someone out correctly,” adds Honigman. 

When reading people, it’s important to remember that body language is not a language in the real sense – most nonverbal cues don’t have clear-cut definitions in the way words do. A gesture or expression may not always mean the same thing, so don’t forget to consider the person and the wider context. Match the gesture with the words and the facial expression to best read someone. If someone yawns, for example, they might just be tired. If someone’s tapping their foot, they could be nervous. But if it isn’t paired with other typically nervous gestures, it could mean something else.

Dr. Stratyner adds, “While facial expressions are important emotional cues, they can be subtle, ambiguous, and influenced by factors like tiredness, discomfort, concentration, and individual and/or cultural differences,” and the same goes for gestures when it comes to cultural differences. A gesture might mean one thing in one culture, and something entirely different in another.

Remember, too, that someone might be nervous if they feel like they’re being interrogated or about to get into trouble, so don’t misinterpret this nervousness as something else. If someone’s displaying behaviors that could be suspicious, it might just be that they’re nervous. If they’re avoiding eye contact, it might be down to cultural norms, or they might just be shy. 

Not everyone will act the same way, either. As Dr. Stratyner says, “People have unique personality traits, cultural backgrounds, and coping mechanisms. For example, quiet or reserved people might not be anxious – they could just be introverted. Making assumptions based on your behavioral norms can lead to errors in judgment.”

Practical Tips for Improving Your Ability to Read People

If you’d like to get better at reading people, there are things you can easily put into practice. 

• Look at their eyes: The eyes can give a lot away – raised eyebrows can mean that someone’s interested, while narrow eyes can indicate suspicion. If someone’s eyes are darting around, they might be nervous or looking for potential exits, while a lot of eye contact could indicate interest or confidence. “It’s how we make initial contact,” says Railton of the eyes. “Raising eyebrows is a sign people are interested, or even that they fancy someone, and it’s a movement that is difficult to control. Blinking is a little harder to read. It’s the change in the blinking pattern that will give clues.”
• Improve your listening skills: “To better understand what someone is communicating, it’s essential to listen closely to both the content of their words and how they say them,” says Dr. Stratyner. “Important clues to someone’s true feelings, intentions, or mood may not be found within the words themselves, but in their pitch, speed, and subtle emotional expressions.”
• Look for inconsistencies: When talking to someone, keep an eye out for any inconsistencies in their body language. “Ask yourself what it is that you’re noticing, and learn from that,” says Honigman. 
• Keep practicing: “Practice on your nearest and dearest, people who you already know well and can sense when they’re being truthful and when they’re not,” recommends Honigman. “The more you try, the better you become.”

Even if you aren’t necessarily practicing on people you know, it can be worth looking around you in public. If you see a group of friends, take a look at their body language. Honigman suggests keeping a journal of observations, so you can learn as you go. 

Keep in Mind

While it’s possible to get better at reading people, don’t expect to be perfect. We’re dealing with humans here, and there are so many variables that come into play. Someone could be having an off-day, be more nervous than you realize, or there might be subtle things that you don’t pick up on even with plenty of practice.