Did you grow up in the kind of family that all gathered together nightly and hung out as a group on the weekends? Or were you the kind of kid who hung out in your bedroom, doing your own thing away from your family’s prying eyes?
According to some parents online, if you relate to the former, you grew up in a “living room family,” and the increased togetherness of this family dynamic has a few major benefits.
Inside the comforting habits of parents who raise ‘living room families.’
First off, what even is a “living room family?” Well, it’s exactly what it sounds like — families who tend to spend more of their time together as a unit, hanging in the living room together rather than cordoned off in their bedrooms.
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The term seems to have entered the mainstream via a mom and parenting influencer named Magdalena, known as @mindfulmagda on Instagram when she went viral earlier this year with a post about the topic.
The theory goes that kids in ‘living room families’ feel more accepted and trusting of their family members.
The philosophy behind “living room families” is pretty simple — when your family is functional, able to deal with conflict, and has dynamics where everyone feels like they can truly be themselves, they tend to gravitate toward each other and spend time together communally in the living room.
This is as opposed to how many of us (and certainly this writer) grew up — everyone holed up in their respective bedrooms to get relief from their annoying siblings or to escape the conflicts erupting everywhere or, in some cases, to get some respite from having to hide who they truly are.
After learning about the concept, Magdalena, who grew up in a living room family herself, wrote: “It made me look at our kids always wanting to be right where we are, whether it’s snuggling on the couch or chatting in the kitchen or folding laundry together, in a whole different light.” She seems to feel a sense of pride that she’d created this kind of environment for her kids.
Many online seemed to have similar feelings, with several parents remarking that they noticed that their kids tend to join the family in the living room when they themselves spent their entire upbringings in their bedrooms.
I’ve noticed this at my brother’s house as well. Their little fivesome is pretty much always together, to the point that my sister-in-law often jokes she can’t wait for the teen years when the kids won’t want quite so much closeness!
Others feel that the concept is judgmental and say their own experiences don’t line up with the theory.
Like most things, a “living room family” and a “bedroom family” are probably the extreme ends of a spectrum — there are shades of gray in between, and it doesn’t mean your family is dysfunctional.
Indeed, many online seemed to bristle at the notion that not being a “living room family” was somehow a shortcoming. We all have different personality types, after all, and some of us need more quiet time than others and cordone ourselves off accordingly. This is especially true if anyone in the family is neurodivergent.
“I was a bedroom family and I had a fantastic childhood and I’ve grown up and I’m still a bedroom family,” one mom commented on Magdalena’s post. “I find this a very bizarre interpretation of a ‘good family/childhood.'”
Even many who love the idea have one major caveat — just wait until the teen years! Teens typically want nothing to do with their parents in even the healthiest of families, after all.
There’s certainly no one right way or wrong way to be a family, and many parents said their families were a combination of the two types. But that whole thing about trusting and feeling accepted enough to share space is very real, too.
As someone who grew up in the kind of family where hanging in the living room together was something I had to mentally and emotionally prepare for, trust me: If your kids want to spend time with you at all, you are absolutely doing something right — whether it’s in the living room or otherwise. It’s the trust and acceptance that make all the difference.
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.
