The holidays are a time when families come together to celebrate, often practicing age-old traditions, eating home-cooked meals, and sharing their gratitude for one another in the form of kind words and thoughtful presents.
Yet one woman insisted that people who are in a relationship should stop spending the festive season with their families immediately.
The woman told a man that she met on a dating app that it’s weird that he spends the holidays with his family.
In a Reddit post, the man who received the rude messages shared several screenshots of their strange conversation. He explained that he met the woman on Bumble and the pair hadn’t even met in person, yet she felt entitled to his Christmas holiday.
“I’m always with my parents on Christmas,” he messaged the woman. “My birthday is actually on the 25th.”
“Mm K,” the woman responded.
Sacred2512 | Reddit
“We can still celebrate together but maybe not on the 24th,” he assured her.
The woman claimed that there was no point in being in a relationship if they didn’t spend the holidays together.
She told the Redditor that she “doesn’t need” to be in a relationship where her partner chooses to spend holidays with his parents.
The man was surprised by her argument, explaining that even his 30-year-old brother spends the holidays with their family. That, she said, is “weird not nice.”
When he questioned why she believes that spending the holidays with your family is weird, she explained that she prefers to spend holidays with her boyfriend and that celebrating with a partner on another day “wasn’t cool.”
“To me, it’s weird,” she said again. “Like, don’t get a [girlfriend] and stay with [your] parents.”
The man was shocked by the woman’s passionate stance. With each message, she only seemed to get more incensed by the man’s holiday plans.
“I never said we can’t spend any time together over the holidays,” he wrote. “The Christmas holidays don’t instantly stop after the 24th.”
To that, she once again called him weird, claiming that he was not looking for a “normal relationship.”
The man determined that he and the woman were not compatible, but she continued to hurl insults about his holiday traditions.
“I don’t think this will work out,” he told her. “We haven’t even met yet and we are arguing. We clearly have a difference of opinions on which we can’t compromise.”
She only further proved his point, responding by swearing at him, calling him names, and doubling down on the “weird” allegations.
“I can’t imagine how I’d be hurt and how [crappy] it would feel if we met and started dating and then I ask you what we will do for Christmas and you tell me ‘go [expletive] do whatever you want. I want to spend time with other people,'” she wrote. “Idiot.”
Many adults spend the holidays with their families.
It’s not uncommon for people — regardless of their age or relationship status — to spend the holidays with their family. According to 2022 research, 70% of people who were looking forward to the winter holidays cited spending time with friends and family as the reason why.
bbernard | Shutterstock
Commenters assured the man that he was not strange for doing so.
“It is completely OK to spend holidays with family, and it is also OK to spend it with your girlfriend, it is also OK to have them come spend it with your family, and vice versa,” one Reddit user wrote. “It should be a bit of both, for each holiday you can compromise.”
In opposition to the woman’s argument, many couples struggle to divide time between each of their respective families during the holiday season. Ultimately, it’s all about balance and compromise.
Have open conversations with your partner regarding expectations around the holidays. Discuss how you will split time between your family and theirs to ensure that everyone feels included. Maybe you decide to have a joint holiday celebration or decide it’s easier to trade off each year.
Everyone deserves to see all of the people they love around the holidays, and it is not “weird” at all.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.
