When people talk about gold diggers, they are typically referring to women. Women have taken on the stereotype of targeting rich men and getting them to fall in love so they can have access to their money.
Men are rarely, if ever, referred to as gold diggers. But one woman argued that’s exactly what they are.
A woman said she thinks of men as being ‘the real gold diggers.’
TikTok content creator Alexandra Stadnicka shared her opinion on why it is actually men, not women, who are gold diggers.
“The real gold diggers are the men who expect you to take care of them, their parents, clean their house, wash and iron their clothes, give birth to their children, manage their emotions, and, on top of that, go to work and contribute 50/50 to the expenses,” she said.
Stadnicka felt that because some men expect so much of women, they are actually the gold diggers in a relationship. In terms of her breakdown, her argument makes sense. The emotional labor of a relationship has always fallen on women’s shoulders, and the effort expended has also long been ignored.
According to Psychology Today, women generally bear the brunt of all the emotional labor in a relationship due to societal norms and expectations. The amount of time and expenditure required to carry the load is underappreciated and can often lead to burnout.
Unsurprisingly, plenty of women agreed that men are the true gold diggers for their demands of emotional labor alone.
“I call them soul diggers,” one said.
Another added, “More women need to stand up and stop being afraid of being alone. It’s not worth having your soul drained just to say you’re married or have someone to cuddle at night.”
There were others who disagreed with Stadnicka, though.
“Welcome to being in a committed relationship and being an adult,” someone said.
“A man can take care of his family for 20 years and will not talk about it,” another commenter pointed out. “But when women do for a year she will go to the highest mountain to announce it.”
Why are women thought of as gold diggers?
Brian Donovan, a professor of sociology at the University of Kansas, took a closer look at the concept of gold diggers for his book, “American Gold Digger: Marriage, Money, and the Law from the Ziegfeld Follies to Anna Nicole Smith.”
Donovan defined gold diggers as “women who are in, or seek, romantic relationships primarily for financial gain.”
Based on all of his research, Donovan came to the conclusion that gold diggers are, in fact, women, not men.
Donovan is aware of how dangerous this perspective can be, though. “It’s not a frivolous stereotype; it influences how judges, juries, and politicians make sense of things like breach of promise law and alimony that have a real impact on people’s finances,” he said.
So, instead of women getting all of the money in these gold digger relationships, being viewed as a gold digger can actually hurt them financially.
The gold digger stereotype is related to confirmation bias.
Many people think of women as having unrealistic expectations for men. A Psychology Today article even suggested that women are expecting too much from men, saying there are more single middle-aged men than ever before.
“With so many options, it’s not surprising that women are increasingly selective,” they said.
Despite being accused of having standards that are too high, women are still seen as gold diggers. However, having this perspective may say more about you than it does about women.
The Good Men Project said, “If you believe that women only desire looks, money, and status, you’ll behave in a way that confirms your biases.”
Dinielle De Veyra | Pexels
According to Britannica, confirmation bias is “people’s tendency to process information by looking for, or interpreting, information that is consistent with their existing beliefs.”
So, essentially, if you believe that women are gold diggers, they will appear to be gold diggers.
But, really, the same could be said of men. If you believe men are or aren’t gold diggers, men will indeed look that way to you.
Instead of judging someone for being something you assume them to be, wouldn’t it just be better to see everyone for who they are individually? To take your confirmation bias out of it?
We’d all see the world in a much fairer way.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
