We experience growth through challenge. With growth, we realize confidence. With confidence, we become bolder and attract more opportunities. Ever since I set myself the challenge of talking to strangers in the street for a month straight to overcome anxiety, I’ve been hooked on these kinds of challenges.
If you’re in a slump, you are likely not challenging yourself. Of course, I’ve struggled, made mistakes, and even failed in learning these lessons. Lucky for you, I’m willing to share what I’ve learned about increasing your confidence and intelligence along the way, and how they balance each other out.
Here are seven daily habits of people with a high confidence-intelligence ratio:
1. They don’t ‘try’ to be confident
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We weren’t put on this Earth to try to be something we already are. You are confident by default. Confidence is merely unrestricted energy flowing through our bodies.
You just think you’re not confident. I don’t care about what your dad said to you when you were 7, which hurt your feelings.
You’re already there. Stop trying, stop looking for ‘hacks,’ and feel your confidence rise in you again.
Trying too hard to be confident can come across as inauthentic, potentially undermining your credibility and making you appear arrogant. Research published by the International Journal of Psychology found that the key to genuine confidence lies in acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses, accepting yourself as you are, and focusing on building skills and competence in areas that matter to you rather than forcing a facade of unwavering self-assurance. A little self-doubt can be beneficial as it motivates you to learn and improve.
2. They give themselves little nudges of assurance
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There’s a part of you full of fire, healthy aggression, and life. All it takes is a connection, a welcoming stroke, and an emotional bridge.
Research published by the Cambridge University Press suggests that to motivate yourself and boost confidence, you can set achievable goals, practice positive self-talk, focus on your strengths, develop new skills, surround yourself with supportive people, celebrate small wins, and challenge negative self-belief. You are building a sense of competence and accomplishment through proactive actions and a positive mindset.
3. They let of baggage weighing them down
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Baggage can keep people trapped in insecurity until their dying breath. It’s not a smart move. Baggage — in case you didn’t realize it — is an illusion.
We’re incapacitated by a fantasy. The weight is lifted the minute you see this for what it is and step out into the world with pride. It’s that simple.
4. They loosen up — physically and emotionally
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We talked earlier about how we’re all naturally confident. We will feel naturally at ease if we’re not preoccupied with critical and negative judgments about ourselves and others. Physical tightness follows judgment and will make you less effective.
We can’t feel truly confident if our shoulders are up past our ears and our bellies are like breeze blocks. The way to confidence is by letting go, shaking out nerves, and staying loose.
Findings from a 2023 study indicate that physical tightness, particularly when perceived as a limitation in movement or flexibility, can negatively impact confidence by affecting self-perception and control over one’s body. This leads to decreased self-esteem and a reluctance to engage in activities requiring physical ability.
5. They know that ‘personality’ is something ever-evolving
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Why do you allow your teenage version of you to dictate the show? You are not who the bully in high school says you were.
Your personality is based on nothing, only self-judgment. There is no ‘personality,’ and you are not tied down by anything that happened in your past.
You can be whoever you want to be and whoever you need to be. You are free if you only see that the door to your prison is open.
6. They stay focused on the task at hand
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There’s no better cure for modern mental malaise than being in the throes of decisive action toward exciting goals. Confidence is composed of doing, not waiting.
A study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology shows that taking action is a significant factor in building confidence. Actively engaging in tasks and achieving positive outcomes directly reinforces a belief in one’s abilities, leading to a heightened sense of self-efficacy and overall confidence.
7. They decide to be the kind of person who lifts others up
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You will be gifted with a surprising renewed strength when you decide to quit obsessing about yourself and focus on becoming a leader. You are now the instigator of happiness in other people’s lives. Confidence is a game of compassion for others because you can’t possibly love yourself if that’s lacking.
A study published by the Journal of Social Psychology shows that performing acts of kindness towards others or oneself can significantly boost confidence by increasing feelings of self-worth, social connection, and positive self-image, creating a “helper’s high” where being kind generates positive emotions that uplift self-esteem and confidence.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient.
