While many teachers attempt to display patience and grace when interacting with parents, sometimes it’s just not possible.
One teacher had no shame in calling a mom out after she “stormed” into the classroom during their back-to-school (BTS) night. While she should be commended for standing up for herself, the teacher turned to Reddit worried because in calling out the parent’s bad attitude, she had to face the consequences of said parent contacting her principal.
After telling a mom that she and her child have a ‘bad attitude,’ a teacher turned to Reddit, fearful of the consequences following the altercation.
The teacher took to Reddit’s r/teachers forum asking for advice after unapologetically calling a parent out, expressing she didn’t know where she plucked up the courage to do such a thing.
“She came storming into the classroom on our BTS night complaining about me in front of other parents,” the teacher wrote. “So I said, ‘It’s because [your child] has a bad attitude… like you.’ I’ll be hearing from the principal.”
The teacher bluntly exposed the mom in front of other parents for not only her lack of respect but her child’s as well. Despite her dreaded and anticipated talk with her school’s principal regarding her behavior, she didn’t regret standing up for herself against the seemingly rude parent.
“Time to enjoy the 4-day weekend before [it] hits the fan,” she wrote, expecting the parent to address the issue with the principal. She later updated her post to reveal the principal called her at 6 p.m. during their four-day weekend, which she let go to voicemail.
“Oh well. All I can do is defend myself with the truth,” she said. “Her child does have a bad attitude. And she was the one that stormed in airing out her complaints interrupting my presentation to the other parents.”
Reddit users argued that some parents wrongfully expect teachers to accept their disrespectful comments and attitudes.
They addressed a common pattern of school administration essentially expecting teachers to provide “customer service” to their students’ parents despite the fact that their profession has nothing to do with customer service.
Teachers already have to take on a great deal of responsibility and patience with their students, but it’s not exactly fair to additionally accept any form of aggression or mistreatment from parents.
Another teacher related to this experience in the comments, sharing how, upon calling a parent who requested to speak with them, the parent “immediately started yelling,” so they hung up. The parent then called back and proceeded to yell at the teacher for hanging up on them, at which point the teacher hung up again.
“I really do not understand who decided teachers need to be subservient to parents,” the teacher wrote. “I don’t get paid enough to teach your kid AND deal with your mental health issues.”
“It’s [such] a part of our culture that I have to constantly remind myself not to fall into it,” another teacher commented, referring to the systemic expectation that teachers must withstand parents’ disrespect. “‘This is no longer a productive conversation and we can continue this with an admin present,’ followed by hanging up the phone is a favorite [response] of mine. But to be accosted in person, mid-presentation? And you’re supposed to just keep perfect composure? That’s unreasonable.”
Teachers are humans worthy of respectful communication.
Regardless of how frustrated a parent may feel with a teacher, it’s never productive or mature to barge into their space and bombard them with complaints. No matter what the situation entails, parents must understand that they need to work with their students’ teachers, not against them.
Additionally, unlike most service industry jobs, teachers and school administrators should not be forced to endure toxic forms of communication from parents and silence their own feelings. However, due to a collective fear of facing lawsuits from parents, they frequently cave to parents’ complaints.
Teachers may not be permitted to disclose personal or political agendas in their classrooms with their students. However, according to Find Law, they are entitled to free speech rights under the First Amendment, meaning they have the right to speak up against unfair restrictions or discussions when necessary.
Of course, where there are disrespectful parents, there are also disrespectful teachers and strong school administrators will know how to remain fair when approaching these conflicts.
While the teacher in the post could have reacted differently to the rude parent, gracefully exhibiting self-respect without reciprocating the parent’s contempt, it’s understandable why she reacted the way she did. Hopefully, she can navigate the situation with her principal appropriately, but she may be at risk of facing unfavorable consequences and even losing her job for simply speaking up against a reactive parent.
In essence, there are ways for teachers to navigate rude outbursts from parents, and it’s through addressing disrespect with class and composure.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango’s news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.
