Whether you are making eyes at some good looking guy over your latte, on a first date with a man you think might be a keeper, or married to a man who you plan on staying with forever, you need to know how to tell if a guy likes you and is very much attracted to your energy.Â
Good news! As a certified life coach who has coached so many women looking for (and finding) love that lasts a lifetime, I can share the signs to look for that are obvious when a guy is really into your energy.Â
Here are 5 subtle signs a man is attracted to your energy, according to psychology:
1. His body language changes around you.
Body language is a big clue to whether or not Mr. Interesting is into you. Is he leaning in while you talk? Whether it’s a subtle lean-in or even a full-court press, proximity to you is a yes! That or he likes how you smell. Either one is good.
So whether you are chatting with him in line for scones or across the dinner table from him, you can casually check if he is going for the lean-in or the lean-back. Did his lips part when you first locked eyes? Great, psychology tells us this is a big one.Â
Can you see that he is perched on the edge of his seat to get that much closer to you? Check.
2. He makes eye contact with you often.
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If he is into you, he’ll hold his gaze steady. If the stranger at Starbucks makes consistent eye contact, give him something to go on. Make eye contact back! Let him know you are interested, too, so he can come over and start a conversation.Â
One study found that couples in their study who held more eye contact with each other were more likely to want to see their dating partner again.
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “The eyes are the window to the soul,” in this case, there is no need to draw back any drapes! Direct eye contact is a very good sign that he is interested in you and what you have to say.
3. He subtly touches you.
If you are on a date and find that he is taking every opportunity to touch you, whether it be a brush on your knee or even your elbow, he probably likes you. The “accidentally on purpose” touches indicate that this man is into you. One study from Norway even found subtle touching to be an excellent flirting tactic.
If you are walking through a crowd, he will help guide you by putting his arm on the small of your back or that good ol’ elbow. He wants to take you to the next place and ensure it is the same place he is going to! Also, other men need not apply — he is caring for you!
4. He mirrors you.
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When a man mirrors your actions, it is definitely subconscious, and a strong sign that is interested in you. Notice that he is copying your gestures at the table, brushing his hair back at the same time as you.Â
Mimicking even works to get you interested, too. Research from 2009 states that people who mimicked the verbal and nonverbal behavior of strangers enhanced their liking of them.
This is a way to build rapport with you. If you change positions a few times, and he seems to be following suit? You might be lucky that the third date was the charm.
5. He wants to relate to you.
Men and women have to find common ground between them, so often, if a man is interested in you, he will want to see more ways to relate to you. He will also share things with you: his experiences and his opinions. In this way, he can check in to see if you are compatible and find out if you are a match.
Did he ask you to choose the next movie? Did you choose a chick flick, and is he okay with it? Or maybe he wants to go with you to your next yoga class even though he says he is about as flexible as a log? Awesome — he is very likely interested in getting to know you better!
Do remember that all men are different. Some might express their interest in various ways, but if your new man is expressing any of the signs, chances are that he is definitely into you. If you still have trouble telling if a guy likes you, consider consulting with a dating coach.
Marni Battista is a Los Angeles-based certified life coach, the founder of Dating with Dignity and The Institute for Living Courageously, and an author who writes dating advice for women.