With financial insecurity on the rise and insufficient assistance programs letting families fall through the cracks, it’s no wonder the number of people experiencing homelessness has increased.
One college student turned to Reddit after that reality hit closer than she could’ve imagined. Her best friend’s family was struggling to pay the rent needed to keep their house. However, when her friend reached out for financial help to avoid homelessness, she couldn’t justify loaning her any money, explaining, “Paying her rent might make her dependent on me.”
Of course, she has the right to say no in this difficult circumstance, but the larger issue becomes, if she has the means to help, should she?
A young woman was labeled ‘selfish’ by her best friend after she refused to help their family with rent.
In her since-deleted Reddit post, the college student explained, “My friend’s family went through financial troubles. My friend used what was remaining of her trust fund to help out her family, but it wasn’t enough. They’re currently facing eviction if they don’t pay the rent.”
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Needing just over $100 to pay the remainder of their rent to safeguard their home for another month, the college student’s best friend reached out for help. Here’s where it gets complicated. Her friend knew she had a healthy trust fund thanks to her parents’ contributions, so she assumed she’d be willing to help.
But that wasn’t the case. The young woman wrote that she’d been saving her money for college and wasn’t comfortable loaning the family any money. She was worried it might create an unhealthy “dependent” relationship.
Despite knowing that her friend is in an incredibly difficult situation, commenters argued that lending money to friends can lead to difficult, strained, and toxic relationships.
Despite having the money, the college student refused to use her ‘trust fund’ to help her best friend avoid homelessness.
“In my country, every kid automatically gets a trust fund from the government… Most people get around 1-2K. My best friend received her trust fund back in April and got nearly £2000,” the poster wrote. “She was really generous and decided to treat our entire friend group to dinner at an expensive restaurant.”
Alongside other personalized gifts for their friend group, the poster said she was incredibly “grateful” for her friend’s kind gestures and decided to do the same when she received her own trust fund. “It turns out that my parents had saved up nearly £20,000… I decided to learn from my friend’s actions, and I took everyone out for brunch, and I bought them each jewelry.”
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However, not long after this friend group splurged with their trust funds, with a few clearly having more in their bank accounts than others, her best friend’s family started to struggle financially. After using what was left of her trust fund to help, she turned to the Reddit poster for help.
“I feel bad but I refused. I’m going to [university] very soon and I need that money. Buying gifts is one thing, but paying her rent might make her dependent on me, and she might continue asking me for rent money because I agreed one time.”
According to Investopedia, the college student likely did the right thing. They noted that loaning money to family and close friends can have an adverse effect on the relationship in most cases. Stressing that if you have any doubts at all about a loan, regardless of the amount, you should always say no.
Commenters were conflicted about her decision, with some arguing that she’s obligated to help and others celebrating her for ‘standing her ground.’
“My friend was really upset at me, calling me selfish. She said it’s not like I needed that much money since my parents would be paying for my university fees and [rent].”
While she admitted she feels guilty about not helping her friend, she argued that it’s just “not her responsibility” to worry about their financial state. Especially as a young woman preparing for college, she feels more concerned about looking out for her own stability.
“She’s not entitled to your money just because you have it,” one commenter argued under the post, “but I can’t imagine turning down a friend for such a small amount of money.”
Especially considering she spent more than $100 on brunch and relatively insignificant gifts for her friends, all from her trust fund, people can’t help but point out the irony that she’s now turning down her friend’s dire request.
“You all wasted money on expensive meals and gifts,” another wrote. “Money both your parents worked hard for. It was stupid especially on her part, considering her amount is easier to blow through. It all could have been avoided if everyone was just responsible with money that’s been hard earned.”
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
