One of the most common questions women often ask has to do with signs a man is falling in love with them. Many women are unsure of how a man feels about them. So they wonder, “When a man falls in love, how does he show it?”
If you’re asking yourself, “Where is this going?” it’s likely that he’s not ready for a commitment. No hints, conversations, or ultimatums will change that. It’s time to stop wondering when or if he’s going to make a move. Instead, relax back into your receptive feminine energy, and allow him to come to you.
Here are six things that only happen when a man is genuinely in love with you:
1. He truly tries to win your heart
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He’s curious about you. He wants to know what you like and what you don’t like. He’ll do whatever it takes to win you over.
One of our clients met a guy she liked on a dating app. After a while, she started considering going exclusive with him. Don’t give up on the idea of finding love on a dating app. Research from the Pew Research Center states that roughly one in ten couples met on a dating site.
One day while talking on the phone, she happened to mention that she needed to add air to her car’s tires but wasn’t sure how to use the new air hose at the gas station. He immediately offered to drive to her place with his air compressor and fill her tires, even though he lived 45 minutes away.
She told him she had planned to go on a hike and didn’t know when she’d be home. He offered to drive over, fill her tires with air, and go hiking together and make a day of it. They’ve now been dating exclusively for over a year and are discussing spending their lives together.
2. He pursues you
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He’s no longer interested in dabbling — he wants a relationship and will pursue you to make it happen. Many men like the convenience and intimacy of dating someone exclusively but are not ready to commit more deeply.
These men will let you do all the heavy lifting, like making plans and initiating dates. According to statistics from The Pew Research Center, about half of single men are only looking for something casual.
They’ll go along with your efforts but rarely reciprocate. If they do initiate a date, it will be at the last minute.
A client in London was dating several different men, and one man stood out from all the rest. He asked about the kind of music she liked and then got concert tickets for one of her favorite bands. He would talk about a trip he would like to take with her six months into the future.
By pursuing her and moving things forward in an obvious manner, he was clearly showing her that he wanted a relationship, not just companionship.
They’ve taken several international trips together. They recently became engaged and are planning the rest of their lives together! When a man falls in love, he makes it obvious by initiating the plans to see you and following up the day after a date to see how you’re doing.
3. He’s willing to overcome obstacles
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If a man disappears because it’s not easy or convenient to see you, then he wasn’t that into you in the first place. A client of ours discovered that she wanted to be with a man who took charge and clearly showed that he cared about her. One guy she was dating suggested they meet in the city center to go dancing, but she lived out in the suburbs.
She requested that he pick her up at her place. It turns out he didn’t have a car, so he took a taxi out to her place, honoring her request to pick her up for the date.
He then got a taxi to take them back to her place at the end of the date and, once again, another taxi to take him home. This certainly wasn’t convenient for him.
But he showed her through his effort that she was important to him and was willing to do what it took to fulfill her request. According to a study from 2014, effort in a relationship was strongly and positively associated with satisfaction and stability.
It would have been easy for this guy to think she was too high-maintenance or too much trouble to date. He could’ve found someone who was easier or less particular. Instead, he found a way to show her that what she wanted was also important to him, that he cared enough to find a way to deliver on her request.
They just got engaged last month and are planning a wedding for the end of the summer. Their love has grown deeper and deeper over time, and he still goes above and beyond to overcome obstacles together.
Men value what they have to work for. Don’t make it easy for him. Challenge him and if he steps up to please you, you have a keeper.
4. He’s willing to wait
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Most men who have been married before enjoy the habit of an exclusive relationship. They feel comfortable when they are in a monogamous relationship with a woman.
This does not mean that they’re falling in love, though. If he’s falling for you, he’ll wait until you’re ready to go exclusive.
One client who has never been married wasn’t sure how to navigate dating more than one man at a time. Her lifelong dating strategy had always been to go exclusive as soon as the guy would ask.
Then, she met a widower who requested exclusivity on their second date. He proclaimed that she was everything he was looking for!
She told us that she worried it was too soon, but also didn’t want to lose him. She learned to come up with the words to express herself, authentically, and share that she wasn’t ready to go exclusive yet, but she would like to keep seeing him. Being authentic in dating is considered a very attractive trait, research from 2019 confirms.
He continued dating her for three months while she also dated different men. They got to know each other, which served their relationship well, as they discovered little idiosyncrasies about one another.
Eventually, they did commit to one another and are still sharing their lives to this day. If a man isn’t willing to wait for you, then he’s not the right man for you.
5. He wants to give you something no other man can
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When a man falls in love, he’ll want to give you something no other man can. Knowing he can provide something for you allows him to thrive in your relationship.
A client of ours was convinced that no man would be supportive of her business because it required a lot of travel away from home. Both her ex-husband and her former fiancé pressured her to work less and spend more time at home.
In those relationships, she constantly felt torn between a career that fulfilled her and sharing her life with a partner. She’s now engaged to a man who is supportive of her business goals and does everything he can to make sure she takes care of herself while she travels.
He gives her the space to do what she needs to succeed in a competitive field and also provides a supportive home for her to return to. With her fiancé by her side, she can finally reach some lofty goals that she used to only dream of achieving on her own.
6. He opens up to you
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Men are notorious for not talking about their problems and instead going to play video games in their man cave. This is a shame because good communication will be the only thing that can save your relationship if it turns sour.
A man who is vulnerable with you and opens up about his past and his fears is trusting you with his heart. He sees a future with you, and he’s making sure you know every part of him so you can fall in love with the real him. Research from 2019 even states that being vulnerable is considered an attractive trait.
How would your life be different with the support of a partner by your side? When a man falls in love, he’ll show his intentions through his actions. He won’t be subtle.
There won’t be any mystery about how he feels about you. It will be downright obvious that he wants to be with you.
Orna and Matthew Walters are dating coaches and founders of Creating Love On Purpose with a holistic approach to transforming hidden blocks to love, and the authors of Getting It Right This Time.
