It’s always a good policy to try and keep a friendly relationship with neighbors. Lending a hand or a cup of sugar is no big deal, but what if your neighbor is demanding more from you?
That’s the dilemma one man on Reddit found himself in after his neighbor tried to gain access to his property out of what he deemed a safety concern.
After putting a lock on his underground basement, a man’s neighbor came over to ask for a key, claiming that it was a safety concern to restrict access.
The man’s neighbor asked him to unlock his basement so his family could ‘safely’ use it during severe weather.
“Last year, we bought a house with an underground bunker. I planned to use it as a studio,” the man wrote in his since-deleted Reddit post. “I finally started converting the space. But, since I’ll be keeping expensive equipment down there, I had a lock installed.”
Despite owning the property, renovating the space, and storing his personal belongings in the bunker, his neighbors relayed a shocking sense of entitlement over the basement.
He learned that his neighbor’s kids played in the bunker both before and after he moved in and were upset when they were “locked out.”
“The dad came around to talk to me about it,” he recounted. “He said the previous owners always kept it unlocked.”
“It’s a big safety concern for him and his family now that we’ve put a lock on it,” he added. “They don’t have a basement.”
The man generously offered to let his neighbors use the shelter during severe weather.
Still, despite the unnecessarily generous offer — it is his property, after all — his neighbors were unhappy.
“He wants to come to some compromise about it,” the Redditor. “He says that’s not enough, because he noticed we were out a lot.”
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“He wants the code to the lock so that he can get in, in case there’s an emergency … but I don’t know my neighbor or his kids.”
To truly keep the peace in this scenario, it’s important for the neighbor to be reminded that to be good neighbors does not mean they have to be good friends. The best way to do that, as with any relationship, is to set healthy boundaries.
The man has said his neighbor is welcome to use the bunker during bad weather when they are home. That’s generous enough.
Commenters advised the Redditor to stand his ground.
“Don’t do it,” one commenter urged. “If your expensive equipment is damaged or stolen you will have no recourse because you handed out the code. You might as well leave your front door open for anyone to wander in.”
Not only does it seem inappropriate and dangerous to request unsupervised access to someone else’s property 24/7, but it’s completely unfair to suggest this man’s refusal is a direct compromise to the safety of his neighbor’s family.
“It just seems shady and not like a good idea,” the man added. “I don’t trust him or his kids.”
As many comments argued, if it was that big of a safety concern for this neighbor, he’d consider investing some money into a bunker or basement of his own — big enough to protect his family in case of a weather emergency like a tornado.
Being empathetic and compassionate is one thing — this man did invite the family to come over in case of any emergencies. However, giving them free access to his livelihood, expensive studio materials, and space in his home, completely unsupervised, is another.
“Your neighbor is a whole adult human,” a third user pointed out. “His potential emergency does not constitute a crisis for you.”
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
