Dear Beloved readers, thank you all for joining us here in this beautiful space. As we move through the reflective months of November and December, the shifting seasons invite us to pause and consider how we’re showing up in our most important relationships. One of the most challenging aspects of maintaining these connections is learning to hold firm to our boundaries while extending love and honor to those around us. In marriage, this balance becomes even more delicate, as it’s essential to uphold your own well-being while fostering a relationship rooted in mutuality, freedom, love, respect, and reciprocity.
Today’s Question: How can I stay empowered to stick to my boundaries while honoring him as my husband?
LeAnne’s Response: Boundaries are not lines drawn to keep people out; they are powerful declarations of who you are and who you are not. Boundaries are not meant to create distance; they are there to help you engage in a way that is honest and sustainable. Take time to reflect on what your boundaries protect and why they matter. This clarity not only empowers you to uphold them but helps you communicate them in a way that invites understanding and partnership. They frame what you will do and what you will not do, what you are responsible for, and what you are not. Understanding this helps you uphold your boundaries with intention and confidence. When you know why you need a boundary, it transforms from a simple line drawn in the sand to a deeply rooted value that protects your emotional, mental, and spiritual health. Boundaries are not meant to create distance; they are there to help you engage in a way that is honest and sustainable.
Communicating boundaries is where many people struggle, especially in close relationships. It’s important to share your boundaries with kindness and intention, expressing them in a way that shows you are honoring both yourself and your marriage. Instead of saying, “I need space because you’re overwhelming me,” consider phrasing that invites connection, such as, “I need time to reflect so that I can come back to this conversation with my full attention.” This type of communication reinforces that your boundaries are not walls, but pathways to a healthier, more present relationship.
Maintaining these boundaries over time can be challenging, especially when faced with resistance or doubt. This is why self-care and spiritual grounding are essential. Consistent time in prayer, journaling, reflection, or other nurturing practices helps you stay connected to God’s strength and keeps your energy balanced. Remember that maintaining your boundaries is not only an act of self-respect but also an act of stewardship over the health of your marriage. When you show up for yourself, you are better equipped to show up with love and grace for your partner.
There will be moments when upholding your boundaries feels difficult or when guilt and second-guessing start to creep in. This is where self-compassion becomes your anchor. Remind yourself that you are allowed to protect your peace and uphold what is healthy, even if it means navigating tough conversations. Boundaries are not about creating conflict but about maintaining integrity and ensuring that both partners feel seen and valued. Boundaries shared in a harsh or defensive way can create division, but when expressed with compassion, they invite understanding and partnership.
Creating felt safety isn’t just for children; it’s vital in all relationships. When you communicate your boundaries in a way that’s clear and kind, you help your spouse feel secure even in moments of tension.
Grounding ourselves in Scripture: “Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.” –Colossians 4:6 (NLT)
It’s also important to seek support and accountability. Whether through trusted friends, mentors, or professional coaches, having people who can walk with you on this journey makes a significant difference. They remind you of your strength, your purpose, and the reasons why you set these boundaries in the first place. They offer an outside perspective that can be invaluable, especially in moments when maintaining your boundaries feels isolating.
Finally, remember that holding firm to your boundaries while honoring your marriage means approaching each day with balance and grace. Boundaries should be tools that promote growth, not division. This balance means staying open to dialogue, practicing forgiveness, and continually choosing love, even when it’s hard. Trust is built over time through these consistent, thoughtful actions. When you respect yourself enough to uphold your boundaries, you also teach those around you how to engage with you in a way that is healthy and loving.
As you move through this season of reflection and renewal, trust that God sees your efforts and walks beside you. He provides strength when you need it most and wisdom to navigate the delicate balances of your relationships. Upholding your boundaries is an act of courage and love that ultimately deepens the trust and respect in your marriage. Embrace this work with confidence, knowing that each step you take is a move toward a more authentic, grace-filled relationship.
Next week I’ll give you practical examples of how that is said, even when the other person still does not feel honored or respected when you need to say No or live out a boundary.
Remember sweet friends, boundaries are for us, not against others. They protect what is sacred in us–our peace, our dignity, and our God-given worth.
How do you stay committed to your boundaries while honoring the relationships that matter most to you? What practices help you draw strength from God as you navigate this journey?
