Empathy, according to a study from the American Journal of Nursing, is characterized by an individual’s ability to balance self-awareness with a careful consideration of another person’s feelings and emotions. They actively help to make others feel heard and cared about, borrowing their feelings to really understand them and find common ground.
While being great at open communication and having a knack for connection are common traits of empaths, often shared by typical peers, there are more subtle things that are easy if you’re empathetic, but challenging for normal people.
Here are 9 things that are easy if you’re empathetic, but very challenging for normal people
1. Randomly connecting with strangers
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Many empaths have a knack for connecting with others, oftentimes because they make space for people to feel heard and understood in ways that many people don’t experience even in their closest relationships. They have a welcoming energy in that way, as energy healthier Christy Whitman explains, that draws people in — giving them a safe space to share, even from a grocery store aisle.
Typical people, who tend to be stuck in their head or overly conscious of the opinions of others, struggle to make genuine connections in this way. They’re more self-involved, less approachable, and often less concerned with the emotions of others during conversations.
2. Self-awareness
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According to a study from the journal Emotion, people who are empathetic tend to be far more intuitive and emotionally aware of the world around them than their typical peers — not just because they can read other people well, but because they invest time into themselves.
They’re not just emotionally intelligent, making space for difficult emotions and introspection, they’re also self-aware and willing to acknowledge their own place in various situations and settings. They’re complex thinkers, who put a great deal of intention and effort into their relationships, not just with other people, but with themselves.
3. Teaching others
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Empaths make great teachers because they’re great at making strong connections, but also have a knack for open communication, honesty, and, of course, being a role model for others to learn empathetic behaviors.
Especially in traditional classroom settings, empathetic teachers can be the role model many kids struggle to find in their early adulthood, helping to set them up for success in their connections and relationships down the road, even if their home environment isn’t necessarily productive.
4. Active listening
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According to a study from the Journal of Personal Selling & Sales Management, empathetic people are often better at listening to others, both on an intuitive level and a literal one. They’re more attuned to the emotions and expressions of other people, including the general vibe they’re putting off, but they’ve also mastered the art of active listening.
For typical people, active listening often causes physical stress — from increased blood pressure, to a higher pulse, and perspiration, according to a University of Southern California study — because it’s mentally and psychologically challenging to both genuinely listen to what someone’s saying and craft healthy conversation.
5. Challenging prejudices and finding common ground with others
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Empaths are genuinely better at reading a person’s true character, rather than subjectively labeling them based on stereotypical judgements or prejudices. They’re more concerned about cultivating a connection, founded on the shared experience or identities that make them similar, not different.
The true core of our humanity is connection. If you can focus on making space for someone to feel heard and understood, you’re going to be better at finding meaning in passing conversations and all your relationships.
6. Setting boundaries with negative people
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Research presented by psychologist Sherrie Bourg Carter suggests that everyone is able to pick up on the emotions of other people around them, oftentimes to a point where it affects their own well-being. While normal people can deflect some of that energy or remain less affected by it, empaths are more attuned to respond to it.
Many healthy empaths, who have made it a point in their lives to protect their own emotional health, have been forced to set clear boundaries and re-assert themselves with the people in their lives. They’re more affected by negative energy and people in their inner circle, so they’re forced to set those expectations early on as a means of self-preservation.
7. Unpacking and healing from difficult emotions
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While it’s important to recognize the toxicity of hyper-empathy, especially in response to a traumatic childhood experience or relationship, most empaths who have gone through therapy or healed from trauma boast better emotional intelligence in their daily lives.
From navigating conflicts in relationships, to diving deeper into insecurities, to cultivating a better self-esteem throughout transitional life stages and experiences, empathetic people can use their self-awareness to set themselves up for success and truly find peace in their relationships with themselves.
8. Maintaining long-term friendships
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With the chaotic nature of everyday life, our ever-evolving nature as individuals, and the common trend for resentment to grow in the background of most relationships without constant communication, true empaths have a gift for maintaining long-term friendships, despite all the struggles.
Without the romantic connection, attraction, and intimacy that sometimes fuels romantic relationships without constant communication, empaths hold great power in making platonic friends feel seen, loved, heard, and understood, even through transitional life stages, conflicts, and disagreements.
9. Spending time alone
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Self-aware and empathetic people often cultivate healthy relationships with themselves, as they are able to pinpoint, recognize, and heal from their internal conflicts and difficult emotions before they become overpowering. They not only enjoy spending time alone, they prioritize it, fully aware that it helps them to process, cope with, and grow from their everyday experiences.
According to a 2019 article from Evergreen Counseling, many normal people struggle to spend time alone, whether they’re influenced by negative perceptions of non-social time, or simply uncomfortable sitting with themselves or confronting the emotions and feelings that can be easily ignored with constant social interaction.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango who focuses on health and wellness, social policy, and human interest stories.
