Parents can read every handbook and advice article out there, but sometimes the strongest approach is simply listening to your child and assuring them that you will always be there to help.
Dr. Becky Kennedy, psychologist and founder of online parenting advice service Good Inside, wholeheartedly agrees.
The psychologist revealed the one sentence parents should say to their kids so they can always feel safe coming to them.
In an interview, Kennedy shared the “line every parent needs in their toolbox.”
During moments when your child opens up to you about something are feeling or struggling with, Kennedy advised parents to reply with, “I’m so glad you’re talking to me about this.”
Thanking your child for having the courage to communicate something uncomfortable with you will help them feel more comfortable coming to you again in the future.
“Say that to the child right away when they’re stressed out, when they’re angry, upset, shameful, any unsettling emotion that you don’t enjoy yourself,” the interviewer reiterated.
The psychologist emphasized the importance of validating your child’s feelings.
“When our kids open up to us when they’re younger — about being left out or feeling mad or about something they did — how we respond matters,” Kennedy wrote in the caption of her TikTok. “Because our kids don’t just take in that interaction — they start to form a working model of how we will react, in general, and whether they feel better or worse after talking with us.”
She clarified that validation doesn’t mean agreeing with or condoning your children’s actions. Rather you listen to them and show them that their feelings and emotions are valid and acceptable.
PyschCentral advises parents attempting to validate their children’s emotions to first take a deep breath and check their own emotions before reacting. Then help your child name what they are feeling and accept the emotion. Ask open-ended questions to help them find the words.
As Kennedy affirmed, thank them for coming to you. Remind them that you hear them and they are not alone. Assure them that their feelings are OK and make sense.
People, especially kids, need community when experiencing difficult emotions.
Some people isolate themselves during challenging times to avoid being vulnerable or burdening others. Often, this behavior was learned during childhood due to a lack of validation from their parents.
When a child comes to their parent with a sensitive topic, the best thing that parent can do is offer an outlet for their child to feel safe and supported. When parents do this, they open the door to future communication with their kids and teach them about the importance of finding support in others.
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In fact, research shows that people with a stronger sense of community and social support exhibit more resilience when faced with stressful situations, according to Helpguide.org.
So, assure your children that you are always here for them, and remember to thank them when they take you up on the offer to talk.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango’s news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.
