Most workplaces use language that barely makes sense in the office, let alone outside it. Roll that together with many bosses’ terrible communication skills and it can often be hard to decipher the tone and tenor of things.
However, according to one labor attorney, there are some subtle hints to watch out for that your boss might be sending you an important signal.
There are 3 phrases employers use when they’re trying to get someone to resign:
When we lose a job, we’re often blindsided — and that’s frequently the worst part of the entire situation. It would be nice to not be caught flat-footed so you can prepare, right?
Well, Boston-based employment lawyer Craig Levey says that by simply listening carefully for certain phrases out of your boss’s mouth, you can uncover your true status in the office.
Bosses would always prefer you quit your job rather than firing you, of course, because it often means you can’t draw unemployment benefits, of which they have to pay a portion. So, Levey says, they’ll often drop subtle hints to sort of “inspire” you, if you will, to take a hike of your own volition.
1. ‘Are you sure you’re happy here?’
Maybe your boss is just feeling unconfident about the business they’ve created and wants a little validation, right? Wrong (most likely anyway).
They’re trying to make you feel suspicious and doubt your own perception of things — or maybe even intimidate you into thinking the hammer is coming. Take it seriously, and polish up that resume!
2. ‘Are you sure this position is a good fit for you?’
They’re just trying to make sure you’re happy so they don’t lose you, right? Nope!
If an employer truly values you, you’ll know it — and it’ll come in ways far less confusing than this type of comment. The goal here is likely to get you to reconsider the job itself. You’re being goaded into finding fault with the position and creating your own perception of unhappiness.
Don’t fall for all that, but start reaching out to your network about new opportunities because you can probably assume that your boss is looking to make some cuts where you’re concerned.
3. ‘Maybe you would find another job more enjoyable?’
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They’re just trying to mentor you, right? Steer you towards the right path out of the goodness of their heart? LOL nah.
This feels like the most passive-aggressive comment of them all, and for good reason. It’s like the kind of thing your meddling mother says about your clothes. “Maybe you’d like the BLACK shoes better.” OK, thanks, mom.
Regardless, this is yet another signal that either the bloom is off the rose with bossman or boss lady, and they want you gone, or perhaps there’s a round of layoffs coming. Either way, it’s time to start being proactive about that next chapter.
All of these phrases are designed to get you to question both yourself and your job.
“All three questions are designed to make the employee think about getting a job elsewhere,” he explained in his video. “The supervisor is putting it in their mind that resignation might be a good option and that they should try to find work in a different position.”
However, it goes beyond merely a sort of personal insult. Levey says it’s also a reflection on the employer if they use these tactics. “It shows that the company has chosen not to invest in them in the long term.”
If you don’t resign — and whether or not you should is a complicated question heavily dependent on circumstances, of course — Levey urges workers to expect the company to “start paving the way for your termination.”
This can come in the form of bad evaluations, performance improvement plans, written warnings, negative meetings — basically anything that can establish a paper trail justifying their forthcoming termination.
That documentation is vitally important for you, too, especially if you feel like your termination is wrongful. An attorney like Levey will need all the documentation they can get to build your case, so be sure you’re doing your own documentation as well.
Then, look to that next future chapter. It’ll probably be a lot better than having a boss like this!
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.
