It’s common for people to say that someone “committed suicide.” This implies that killing yourself is illegal when it’s not. That’s why we need to take judgment out of it. We need to stop thinking of suicide as wrong and accept it for what it is: an individual’s decision to end his or her life prematurely. We don’t say that someone “committed cancer,” even when his or her actions—such as years of cigarette smoking—may have a direct effect. Instead, we say the person “died by cancer,” and this is the correct way to refer to suicide—the person “died by suicide.” Alternatively, it’s appropriate to say that someone killed himself or herself. No judgment; just fact.
“It comes back to how we can speak of our dead with love and compassion,” says the mother of a 21-year-old boy who took his life. “Saying that your loved one committed suicide seems like the ultimate act of betrayal—blaming them for their own illness and suffering. Bring them back to the light, your conversation, your family history, your mantel or photo album, with loving compassion by proclaiming that they died by suicide… They were ill, they ended their pain, and we mourn them.”1
It’s also not appropriate to say that a person who attempts suicide either “succeeds”—i.e. dies—or “fails”—lives. Again, we need to avoid judging. Moreover, suicide shouldn’t be thought of as a goal, like passing or failing a test. An individual survives a suicide attempt or not. If not, it’s referred to as “a completed suicide.”
Some of this is the fault of the media. Too often, reporters cover a suicide the same way they cover a crime, but suicide isn’t a crime. It’s a public health issue and should be covered that way, with background information on trends, rates, treatment options, and resources. Equally important, a person’s suicide can be balanced with stories of hope and recovery in which suicidal thinking is overcome and skills to cope with adversity are increased. This way, individuals and the media don’t unintentionally promote self-destructive behavior by contributing to suicide contagion but rather encourage people who are contemplating suicide to seek help.
At one time the Annenberg Public Policy Center analyzed the coverage of suicides in nine major newspapers over a period of 12 months, plus three years’ worth of articles in the New York Times. Seven of the nine newspapers made a point of using the word suicide in at least half their headlines, sometimes in a sensational fashion. In many of the Times’ articles, the method of suicide was mentioned in the headline, yet only 8 percent of the articles cited depression as a possible factor in the person’s death. Some of the journalists who were contacted by the center didn’t know that certain types of news coverage can lead to imitative behavior, and none were aware that experts in the field had developed media guidelines for reporting on suicide.2 That is changing—slowly—although it’s still common for media reports to use the phrase “committed suicide.” Since the general public often takes its cue from the media, this stigmatizing terminology needs to end.
If you or someone you love is contemplating suicide, seek help immediately. For help 24/7, dial 988 for the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or reach out to the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741. To find a therapist near you, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.
