When it comes to dating there are a certain number of women who feel that because they are a good catch the relationship gods are being cruel to them. They look around at their friends and loved ones who are happily married or in relationships and think that they have been cursed because they don’t have that special someone to share their life with. I can understand.
If everyone is telling you what a great catch you are but you still haven’t found that special someone to share your life with you might want to look at the following list. Based on my experiences these are the only reasons a woman is a good catch and still single.
Here are five common reasons women who are great catches are still single:
1. She’s not over her past
Once we’ve had our hearts broken it’s very hard to let go of that memory because of the fear that it will happen again. When we are little we learn that if we touch the stove we get burned. The pain of that one experience lets us know that if we touch hot things we feel pain.
As a result, we quickly learn to avoid those things which are hot. When it comes to dating, being “burned” often causes us to avoid situations or relationships where we fear it may happen again.
2. She makes bad choices
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One of the things I learned in my journey was that I was responsible for the choices I made (or didn’t make) in my relationships. If I had a bad relationship, it was because I chose to be with someone who didn’t make me happy. It wasn’t their fault, it was mine.
The results of our lives are in direct proportion to the quality of our choices and decisions. If you are currently single and you’re frustrated with the men you have been involved with you might want to see where the choices you made helped contribute to your misery. Research from 2011 indicates that accepting how you feel, even if it’s negative feelings will, paradoxically, increase your well-being.
If you do notice you made some bad choices don’t beat yourself up over them. Use them as learning experiences to make better and smarter choices the next time around.
3. She’s waiting for love to happen to her
The odds that the doorbell is going to ring, and the cable guy is going to walk in and be the man of your dreams is very slim. You can’t win the lottery if you don’t buy a ticket, and you can’t get in shape just by joining a gym. Just because you joined an online dating site, and you’ve filled out your profile doesn’t mean it’s going to happen for you.
You’ve got to get off your butt and take action….consistent action! Those people who succeed in life do so because they put themselves in a position to win.
Do they win all the time? No. They get knocked down and lose more times than they win. But they don’t give up. They realize the prize is worth the time and effort they put out.
Dating is simply a numbers game. Nothing more, nothing less. The clearer you are on what you are looking for and the more men you meet the easier it will be for you to find the guy you are looking for
4. She’s afraid of being vulnerable
One of the interesting things about finding love is that you can’t find it if you don’t make yourself vulnerable. Being uncomfortable and going into the world of the unknown is something that most human beings abhor.
Instead of feeling the fear and doing it anyway, most humans retreat and go back into the world of what they know and what they are comfortable with. Research from 2022 states how vital being vulnerable is for emotional intimacy.
The irony is it becomes much more difficult for a person to experience the wonders of finding love if they do not make themselves vulnerable. Yes, it is a risk, but the reward is so worth it. That is how life works. You can’t get the good fruit unless you are willing to go out on a limb.
5. It’s not the right time … yet
My wife and I often joke about how grateful we are that we didn’t get married earlier in life. As both of us were products of close-knit Italian families we had both wanted to get married earlier in life. By the time we had met in our mid-thirties both of us had thought we would have been married and had a couple of kids.
Upon reflection, we realized that it was so much better that we didn’t get married younger. We were not ready or prepared for the commitment of spending the rest of our lives with someone.
We also realized that by getting married later in life we were able to experience things and go places that would not have been possible had we settled down in our twenties like we had planned. By the time we did meet we were ready and better prepared to experience the next chapters of our lives because the previous chapters had been completed.
I strongly believe that if your true heart desires to find someone special to share your life with and you are ready emotionally for that person you will find them when the time is right for you. In the big scope of life, what’s the difference if you spend 45 years with someone or 40 with them? What matters most is that you ultimately find that special someone. Because when you do the past no longer matters.
Joe Amoia is the founder and creator of GPS For Love. He is an International Dating and Relationship Expert who specializes in helping single women navigate the complex world of men, dating, and relationships.
