Some women wake up thinking how beautiful it would be to have her handsome husband wrap his caring arms around her, to be softly kissed on the forehead, and to be told how beautiful she is every day. The problem is, wishing for that kind of love isn’t enough.Â
If you’d like to meet and have a loving relationship with a man who is strong and courageous, who allows you to feel safe, loved, and appreciated, there ar ea few things you can start doing now — well before you even meet him.
Here are 5 things that must exist within you to find life-long love & partnership
1. Open your heart to men and share your vulnerability
Susan Jeffers wrote a great book called Opening Our Hearts To Men. She writes about how when you open your heart to men, you will see they also hurt, have fears, and suffer their struggles. So, maybe it is time to switch the way you see and look at men.Â
By switching your thinking and choosing from a place of love to see the good in men. A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology supports that by choosing to see men in a positive light, you will indeed attract a man who is deserving of your love and joy. She talks about letting go of all that pent-up anger and frustration you have with men. Letting go of hurt and anger makes a difference.
2. Choose to heal
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Choosing to heal can be scary but also the most fulfilling and rewarding self-love act you can do. It is painful to face the emotional tug that keeps you stuck in repeated patterns of dating the same guy over and over again. It can feel like a constant battle with your inner demons.Â
Choose to be aware, to release, to heal, and to have a big old cry. Research by Marjaneh M Fooladi, Ph.D. shows how crying is healing. It is only in releasing this negative energy that is pent up inside of you and choosing to step forward that powerful change can happen. Healing is progress and can be the ultimate turnaround.
3. Give love to receive love
Oh, life is so beautiful, especially the way the outside world reflects to us who we are deep inside. Our habits create our reality.Â
My friend Ann is the go-to person when you need a hug, a pick me up, or just an ear to listen. She is wonderful at this, and because of these traits, her life is full of love. Her husband and kids love her very much, and her family life tends to be harmonious.Â
The good news is you can cultivate these traits, too. If you would like a man who tells you, “I love you every day,” you must teach yourself to be comfortable with the words. You can start this by saying to yourself every morning and night time in the mirror, “I love you”.Â
Do this until your inner child gets a great big smile. Once you are comfortable giving the words to yourself, you will be comfortable giving and receiving these words from someone else, as explored by Dr Rebecca Hazleden. And that is an exhilarating feeling.
4. Face your fears
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“Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
Fear can have a big impact on our lives. It can dictate how our lives turn out. So, the death of fear is a must. Fear of commitment, fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough. What is holding you back?Â
An article in the Cognitive Therapy and Research Journal encourages us to choose to let it go, work with our partner to overcome our biggest fear, or find a close friend who can help us navigate to a space where we can attract someone special into our life. He will want to be a part of it, too, share your concerns and worries and watch how it can bring you closer together.
5. Power of self-love
An act of kindness because you care, a bubble bath because you can, telling the man in your life “I love you very much” because you mean it. Asking gracefully for what you want, saying “No” to what does not serve you, and sharing a secret that nobody else knows about you, except for you and him. Are all acts of self-love and a hugely attractive quality to the man of your desires? Love yourself and share it with everyone.
Handsome is as handsome does, and life gives you what you put out. So remember to heal the past, face your fears, open your heart, act from a place of self-love, and choose to share your life with others. I promise you will be richly rewarded. And that handsome man with his arms wrapped around you might not be as far away as you first thought.
Lorna Poole is an international coach and professional speaker. She empowers women to love beyond fear, pain, and regret to attract the partner they truly deserve.
