If marriage is a lot, then ending a marriage is a lot more than a lot.
Divorce is grieving the loss of someone you thought you would be with forever while planning for a better future for yourself for tomorrow.
Here are five interesting facts about divorce to keep in mind.
1. Your likelihood of divorce is 50 percent higher if you or your partner smokes.
A 1998 study by Doherty & Doherty found that adults who smoke are 53 percent more likely to have experienced divorce than those who do not smoke.
In 2009, the Melbourne Institute of Applied Economic and Social Research determined that the risk of divorce among married partners where only one of them was a smoker increased the likelihood of divorce by 75 to 90 percent higher than those where both couples smoke.
Several theories have been offered to explain the smoking-divorce connection, including the idea that smoking itself may lead to disagreements about whether or not your partner should be smoking,
Health concerns about the partner who smokes may also negatively impact the relationship, and smoking puts additional financial strain on the couple as a whole.
2. Fifty percent of marriages still end in divorce.
Over the past 150 years, divorce rates have steadily continued to climb until the 1990s. Around that time, the divorce rate began to dip below 38 percent from 2000 to 2010 and 30 percent from 2011 to 2021.
In addition, the rate of marriage has declined.
In 1995, the marriage rate was roughly 45 per 1,000 women, but by 2020—just 25 years later—the marriage rate had fallen to 31 per 1,000 women.
Some level of a reduced divorce rate makes sense since we also have fewer people marrying.
There has also been a notable increase in the number of people living together before marriage. This means people could potentially be putting off marriage for a few years or taking the idea off of the table completely.
Despite all of this fluctuation in who is doing what when, 50 percent of all marriages in the U.S. have still ended in divorce for the better part of the last 150 years.
3. Sixty percent of second marriages will end in divorce.
If you’re looking to enter a new marriage to escape the baggage from your previous marriage, I have some pretty bad news for you…it’s unlikely at best.
Divorce is often thought of as the monster hiding under the bed. It’s scary and frightening, and you never know what might happen—until it does.
And then…a big nothing burger?
Look, divorce is extremely difficult.
But after some time passes, it becomes pretty clear that the Big Bad you feared and the relief of surviving the worst thing you imagined has replaced your lingering fear.
A significant amount of evidence points to the idea that your second marriage is quite likely to inherit the same disagreements that arose during your first marriage as well as some special arguments all its own.
Unfair? Sure.
Many people report unresolved issues from the first marriage often resurge in the second marriage.
Yeah…it turns out the trust issues you had with your first husband weren’t all about him but were, in fact, largely about you.
We also have the possible added level of difficulty that comes from having to blend two families by marriage.
The grand total of the second marriage equation? Well, it’s nowhere as easy as Mike and Carole Brady made it out to be.
4. Couples under the age of 20 have the highest divorce rates.
Young love doesn’t appear to be the strongest, most stable love.
Forty-eight percent of people who get married before age 18 are likely to divorce within 10 years of marriage. Sixty percent of those married between ages 20-25 will end in divorce.
Why?
The only people who accept their youth are those struggling to hold on to it. The majority of us are quick to try to impress people by our wit and wisdom, both of which have limited depth and breadth at the ripe old age of 25.
Younger couples may lack the maturity and life experiences necessary to put in the hard work of a long-term marriage.
5. The divorce rate among couples aged 50 and over has doubled since 1990.
This increase in divorce among older adults is often referred as a “gray divorce” and is largely thought to be a result of increased life expectancy.
After all, when we envisioned spending the rest of our life with someone, did we have any idea how long forever would last? Did we ever envision a life with just our partner, an empty nest, and no distractions to be found?
Society has also contributed to the increase in divorces later in life thanks to more women working outside the home and gaining financial independence. There has also been a changing view of divorce thanks to television and media that normalizes the idea of older adults ending unhappy marriages.
In Conclusion
There is no right or wrong way to handle an unhappy marriage. There is only the decision to listen to your heart and your head, no matter how old you are or how many times you have been betrothed.
