Have you ever felt that you had a hard time making friends? You’ve probably been afraid to say it out loud for fear of sounding vain, but maybe people just judge you because you’re pretty. Whether dealing with jealousy or assumptions about intelligence and moral integrity, being pretty isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be.
Therapist Annalise Johnson has a theory that pretty women don’t exactly have the easy life everyone assumes they do because others feel competitive with them in a nefarious way and don’t want to see them succeed.
A therapist explained how people with ‘pretty privilege’ have unique daily struggles that most people don’t realize.
Johnson explained that many of her beautiful clients don’t understand the negative attention they receive, to which she responded, “Sweetie, it’s because of how you look.”
She explained, ” I have to teach them to be more cautious and then how to handle themselves because of what they look like — there’s a whole shift in it.”
The therapist argued pretty people need to be aware of who they trust because there are many people who don’t have their best interests at heart.
“In whatever you do, people are anxiously waiting to see you fail,” Johnson said. “They want to see you fail and spread it like wildfire.”
She explained that her beautiful clients often struggle to make friends because people will let their own insecurities blind them with hatred.Â
Insecurity can make people behave competitively, and society’s reverence for youth and beauty, especially in women, only compounds this.Â
Sure, beauty may open doors in life that average people don’t experience, but a study from 2023 found that the prettiest are often judged as vain regardless of their character, and that makes authentic connection difficult. As Johnson also noted, beautiful women can often be some of the loneliest.
Johnson added, “They really want to know that you’re not perfect.” Â
The therapist argued that an attractive person’s existence is polarizing.
Johnson explained that some women will be inspired by beautiful women, but most only desire closeness to attractive people in order to drag them down.Â
Attention from men is tricky, too. Some men are drawn to beauty out of simple attraction, but others fear rejection, making beautiful women the object of their hate.
That’s the polarizing nature of beauty. There’s no in-between. People will either place the most beautiful on a pedestal or treat them with disdain.
Attractive women are often dismissed for their privilege, and their professional success becomes tied to their appearance rather than work ethic.
There’s an assumption that if you’re pretty, the job you have or the raise you got was handed to you.
While it’s important to note that, yes, of course, pretty privilege does exist, and there are research-backed advantages to being attractive, especially in the professional setting, it’s incredibly degrading to assume that someone hasn’t worked hard just because they’re beautiful.
Research has shown attractive women suffer with their mental health because of the hostility they face from others when they benefit from their pretty privilege. While some may idolize people with good looks, others will actively prey on them.
Women are told from a young age that they have to meet certain beauty standards to be accepted, but when they do meet them, they’re treated as inferior. If you’re not conventionally attractive, your existence is treated as some sort of moral failure. But if you are attractive, then you face harassment and degradation.
You can’t control how others treat you, but you can control who you let into your life.
Johnson explained that beautiful, successful women tend to surround themselves with other beautiful, successful women because these are the healthiest and safest friendships that aren’t rooted in competition and jealousy.
Beautiful people need to be selective of who they allow into their lives, remembering that not everyone has good intentions.
Embracing both the good and the bad of being beautiful is the only way to truly benefit from pretty privilege.
Accepting the positives and negatives of the privilege allows attractive people to be empowered by their looks.Â
The fact is, beauty is subjective and fleeting. That means, regardless of how you look, if you put your energy into becoming the best version of yourself and embrace your inner and outer beauty, the sky’s the limit.
Sahlah Syeda is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news, and human interest topics.
