It’s impossible to agree with someone on everything, even when you’re in love. This isn’t typically too much of a problem as it usually affects smaller issues. Every now and then, though, a disagreement over something big can lead to real problems.
One man learned this lesson the hard way when he found out that he and his fiancée not only voted for two different candidates in the presidential election but did so because of largely different beliefs he couldn’t get past.
A man decided to take a break from his relationship with his fiancée after finding out that she voted for a candidate he disapproved of.
One man posted on Reddit asking for advice after going through a rough fight with his fiancée that involved the recent presidential election.
“We were sitting at the kitchen table, finishing dinner, kind of looking at the polls, but not really saying much,” he recalled.
“The conversation had been light, small talk, until she loudly mentioned that she had voted for Trump in the last election, and this election.”
His fiancée’s voting revelation wasn’t the only bombshell; she also lied about her past voting history.
That created a problem, as that’s not what she had previously told him.
“When we first started seeing each other, she said she did not vote in any election, even in 2016 when she first became eligible,” he said.
“It felt like a gut punch,” he continued. “I tried to brush it off, but it festered in my chest like a knot that wouldn’t untangle. This is extremely difficult considering she knows my situation.”
The man went on to detail exactly what that situation was.
“For weeks, she’s known about my sister, and now she was facing a medical emergency that could be life-threatening,” he explained. “My sister needed an abortion, and the state we lived in made access nearly impossible for someone in her situation.”
This man was in pure disbelief over his fiancée.
“I could feel my anger rising as I spoke,” he said. “The injustice of it, the cruelty of the system, and how, to me, it was all connected. I couldn’t reconcile the person I thought I knew with the person who would vote for someone whose policies were actively working against the rights of people like my sister.”
He asked her, “‘How could you vote for someone who wants to make it even harder for people like my sister to get the care she needs? How can we build a life together when you support something so against everything I stand for?’”
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“She seemed stunned, her face falling as she realized how mad I was,” he recounted. “I couldn’t look past the fact that we saw the world in two fundamentally different ways. The person I was meant to share my future with didn’t share my values when it came to something this personal, this urgent.”
Despite the love he had for his fiancée, he didn’t see how the relationship could continue.
“I feel it’s over,” he said. “I don’t think I can marry someone whose beliefs were so far removed from the realities I face every day.”
It’s not uncommon for relationships to fall apart because of differing political beliefs.
Recently, faculty from the University of Michigan conducted a study to determine if political beliefs were really breaking up relationships.
Professor Amie Gordon, lead author of the study, noted that most couples shared fairly similar political ideologies.
“Couples who did have differing political views had slightly lower relationship quality,” the Michigan News reported.
Despite these findings, it’s not impossible to be in a relationship with someone you don’t completely agree with politically.
“Finding common ground may feel impossible,” VeryWell Mind stated, “but if you are with a partner that you love, it’s worth aiming for.”
Really, what each person is willing to accept is up to them individually. Some couples can make it through different political perspectives.
This couple, on the other hand, sounds like they may be better off parting ways.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news and human interest topics.
