In many workplaces, vacation days are first come, first served. That is, if multiple employees request the same day off, the first employee who asks for a day off gets priority.Â
That wasn’t the case for one man who claimed he faced backlash from some of his co-workers for not switching around his vacation days to accommodate a woman going on her honeymoon. Â Â
Posting to the subreddit r/AITAH, he claimed that he didn’t know how to proceed after feeling pressured to give up his hard-earned vacation days.
The employee was accused of being ‘selfish’ for not switching vacation days so a co-worker could go on her honeymoon.
“I work at a small company where vacation time is pretty limited, and we have to request it months in advance. I put in my request almost a year ago to take a two-week vacation during the holidays,” he began in his Reddit post.
He explained that he planned to visit family members out of the country, something that he’s only able to do once every few years. However, one of his co-workers seemed to call his plans into question, approaching him to ask if he’d be willing to give up his vacation days so that she could go on her honeymoon after just getting married.
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The employee’s co-worker neglected to put in her vacation request in a timely manner.
She told him that she didn’t realize how quickly the vacation days would fill up and failed to put in a request for her honeymoon in advance, the way that he’d done with his two-week vacation.Â
Now, the only way that she can go on her honeymoon is if someone cancels their time off, and since he had one of the longest vacation blocks, she approached him first.
“I told her I was really sorry, but I can’t give up my time. This trip means a lot to me, and it’s the only time I can see my family this year. She wasn’t happy and told me I was being selfish for not accommodating her ‘once-in-a-lifetime’ event,” he recalled.Â
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“Now, a few other co-workers are chiming in, suggesting I could be more flexible since I don’t have ‘special circumstances’ like a wedding.”
He admitted to “feeling bad” about the entire ordeal, which he definitely shouldn’t. It’s not his responsibility to accommodate someone else’s vacation or time-off request. He followed the protocols and made sure to get in his request early so that it could be approved and he’d be allowed to visit his family, who he never gets the chance to see.Â
His management should be the ones that deal with vacation days and make sure employees are getting time off.
Instead of employees bartering their vacation days with each other, it’s clear that management needs to figure out a different way to deal with PTO.Â
If the time is as limited as he said, then the company should consider that and add more days to the amount that people can take off. Why should he have to burden himself with canceling his vacation when he submitted his time in advance?
Employees are entitled to their time off in any way they see fit. His co-worker had ample time to submit her request, and she should take her grievances to the managers so that they could come up with a solution.Â
In the comments section, people agreed that he wasn’t being selfish in the slightest for choosing to use his rightfully earned PTO.
Given how few workers use their PTO — in 2023, 62% of workers with PTO did not use all of their vacation time, letting a third of it go to waste — it’s important that employees feel empowered to take the time off that they earned and deserve.Â
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.