A wife is sharing the three-hour night routine that she and her husband incorporated into their evenings that she credits to strengthening their marriage. The nightly routine involves setting aside three hours of your time, with each hour being devoted to household tasks, your spouse, and yourself.
Marriage can be challenging at times, and taking time to focus on improving it day-by-day is the only way to improve it when times get tough.
The wife reveals that the night routine has been a total game-changer for both her and her husband in their marriage.
The wife’s 3-hour night routine consists of setting aside time to take care of chores, focusing on their marriage, and having some time to unwind. Amid the chaos of life, it is easy to flop down on the couch after a long day and spend hours scrolling on your phone before heading to bed. This is the habit that Rachel Higgins and her husband found themselves in for a while.
“After our daughter goes to bed, we would just lounge on the couch and scroll on our phones until we were too tired and went to bed,” she shared in a TikTok video.
However, the couple soon discovered that this nightly ritual landed them in a rut. To spice up their nights and connect better with each other, Higgins and her husband implemented what they dubbed their “three-hour night” into their daily routine.
The wife explained that after their daughter goes to bed at 7 p.m., they start their nightly routine with shared household duties.
“The first hour is our productive time. So we start with a quick clean up of the kitchen or things that accumulated throughout the day,” Higgins said. “And then we try to do something that has either been put off like cleaning the bathroom or organizing the pantry or closet, or something super random like sharpening our knives … anything that is productive for the household.”
Completing household tasks together can be beneficial for your marriage, according to research conducted by University of Utah associate professor Daniel Carlson.
“The number of equally shared tasks matters a great deal for both men’s and women’s relationship quality,” he shared in a brief referencing the study. “It turns out that the more tasks couple share together, that they do jointly, the greater their feelings of equity, the more satisfied they are with their housework arrangements.”
Rachel and her husband are certainly onto something by choosing to do chores together!
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The second hour of their three-hour night routine is dedicated to spending time solely as a couple.
“During this time, we put our phones away, and we’re solely dedicated to each other and to our marriage,” Higgins said. They spend this hour focusing on each other and connecting on a deeper level, whether it be showering together or playing a game together.
“Anything that’s gonna get you guys talking and connecting, debriefing from the day, or just talking about the plans for tomorrow or how work is going … anything that is gonna connect and strengthen and build your marriage,” she says.
The third and final hour is dedicated to personal time.
During this hour, the couple can do whatever they please before calling it a night and going to bed. “This is a time where you can do whatever you want for yourself without judgment,” she explained.
“So if you just want to lay on the couch and scroll on your phone and watch TikTok, the other person can’t pass any judgment on that!”
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For Higgins’ hour alone, she usually edits her TikTok videos, reads a book, or even just colors. Even if you are married, everyone deserves time for themselves. In fact, taking some individual time for yourself can strengthen your marriage.
Relationship psychologist John Aiken told the Sydney Herald that taking time apart while married “encourages each person to maintain their own sense of identity while still being a couple.”
It is important to know yourself beyond your marriage, and taking time for yourself allows you the chance to miss your partner and appreciate them even more when you are together again.
It can be difficult to change your night routine, especially if you have been following the same habits for a long time.
However, when you find yourself doing the same thing over and over, it can harbor a sense of restlessness in your marriage.
It never hurts to switch things up if you find that life has become stagnant. Even the simplest changes to your routine can make all the difference in the world.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.
