Loving a man who doesn’t love you back can be a painful process of highs and lows. It can also be your prerogative, your time for growth and change. Loving a man that does not love you back is just an old, deep-rooted pattern.
The point of change starts when you decide to change your circumstances. When you decide to invite more love and fun into your life, you will succeed. This might seem scary at the time, but getting up and walking away is sometimes the most liberating thing you can do!
Five qualities of women who don’t get hung up on exes
1. They learn to value themselves and trust their decisions
Recently, a client of mine was working in a restaurant. She hated it there. She felt undervalued and unappreciated; the terms and conditions were awful, she told me as she sobbed tearfully. I asked her one question, “If you hate it there so much and you know you are being treated badly, why are you still there?”
She looked at me angrily and gave me all of her excuses about why it was important for her to stay. In a soft-spoken but firm tone, I quickly pointed out to her that nobody will value her until she values herself. My client walked out of our coaching session that day and pondered the question.
Four weeks later, she explained to me that she had indeed walked out of the job, not knowing what she was going to do next and how she was going to pay the bills. Two weeks later, she found a better job with better pay and more suitable circumstances. She couldn’t believe her luck. The same is true with ending a romantic relationship, as evidenced by a study in the Family Process Journal.
2. They surround themselves with the right people (and circumstances)
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If you want a fantastic relationship with a great guy, walk away from pain and into joy. Walk away from negative situations. Walk away from the man who doesn’t love you back. This creates space for the new.
Surround yourself with people who have loving and rewarding relationships. Notice their behavior. Notice how they treat each other. Feel the energy and love that is exchanged between them. Ask your newfound friends about their life experiences and the choices they have made that have created a fulfilling life, and decide to do what they do.
Join different groups or organizations to help you grow as a person inside so you can gain inner strength and confidence.
3. They keep personal integrity
If you say, “I would love to fly to Paris this year,” fly to Paris this year — don’t put it off. This gives you the confidence to trust and believe in your decision-making. The strength to stay true to who you are is a powerful tool to master.
It is difficult to walk away from a non-serving situation, and it is even more difficult to stay away. A study in the Personal Relationships Journal shows why it is so important to develop the ability to keep personal integrity.
4. They make decisions from a place of joy, peace, and happiness
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This will prevent you from choosing the wrong guy over and over again. Why? Because you have decided to walk away from bad love, you have decided to better your life, and now you are surrounding yourself with the circumstances and people who will best help you to make your dream a reality, as suggested by a study in the Journal of College Student Psychotherapy.
You are making new choices, choices that are in harmony with what makes you joyful, happy, and at peace. When you decide to have these positive thoughts, you will never again fall into the trap of putting up with situations that make you feel ugly inside.
Inner joy, outer joy, inner peace, outer peace, inner happiness, outer happiness, the outside world reflects our innermost thoughts and feelings. Choose from the inside out.
5. They love themselves along the way
Here is the best part. You must love yourself through every part of this journey every time you take a wrong turn — and you will take wrong turns. You will want to fall back into old ways and old situations. Keep going, and once you make a decision, stick with it, no matter what.
Do not go back to what is comfortable or what is familiar, no matter how bad the change may seem in the beginning. I promise you that if you leap, your life will improve in ways you can’t even imagine. Go for it, walk away from the man who does not love you back, and never give up.
Lorna Poole is an international coach and professional speaker. She empowers women to love beyond fear, pain, and regret to attract the partner they truly deserve.
