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The stretch of time from Thanksgiving to New Year’s Day, for many, is inextricably linked with loss and grief. Family conflicts and estrangements become painfully visible. Sometimes there are empty chairs around the dinner table. The weather can be extreme. There’s too much to do, a lot of pressure to do it, and often not enough time (or money) to get it done. Not everyone experiences this season as merry and bright.
If, like me, you come from a complicated family and have experienced significant loss, then you might be craving stories that portray the holidays in ways you can connect with. We all want to feel seen, as well as maybe enjoy a bit of lightness and hope. We appreciate movies that show us how to move forward with our pain instead of tying it up neatly with a bow.
In that spirit, here are some holiday movies that tackle honest themes such as grief, estrangement, loneliness, dysfunctional families, and families of choice. Some are sad, others funny, many hopeful. But all of them reflect the complexity and fullness of the human experience.
1. The Family Stone
It’s rare that a rom-com can capture the complicated layers of a grieving family, but “The Family Stone” does just that. It includes important conversations about race, disability, and sexuality. Even better, it shows a family making room for their pain alongside moments of joy, misadventure, and accepting the imperfections of life. It’s the perfect blend of tragedy and comedy.
2. Good Grief
Dan Levy’s 2023 Netflix film begins with a tragic loss at a Christmas party and traces the main character Marc’s grief in the aftermath. The film’s nuance and layered themes include complicated grief, untangling your feelings for someone after they’ve died, abandonment, belonging, and leaning on friends as chosen family.
3. A Christmas Carol
There are many, many renditions of this classic Dickens tale. All of them confront the loneliness, estrangement, and hardships that befall many families. And the story shows ways we all have to reckon with the personal ghosts that haunt our past, present, and future.
4. Love, Actually
It doesn’t get more complicated than this portrayal of eight different couples navigating Christmastime amid various conflicts, losses, and affairs. Yet the unbelievable details and dramatic (sometimes humorous) events in the film feel relatable to those of us who have experienced highs and lows this time of year.
5. It’s a Wonderful Life
This 1946 classic presents alternate endings for someone experiencing a deep emotional crisis. But it also offers a glimpse of how the characters deal with global tragedies, like the 1919 flu pandemic, world wars, and financial crises. It makes a case for the power of community and social support in the worst of times.
6. Home Alone
It’s hard to ignore the emotional themes in this family comedy/action film. There are sibling rivalries, the fantasy many kids have of taking control of their family and home life, and the estrangement subplot of Kevin’s elderly neighbor. It’s a film full of chaos, relational ruptures, and repair.
7. Little Women
Through the many modern retellings of Louisa May Alcott’s classic 1868 novel, Little Women, the hardships of winter and holidays remain prominent themes. There’s a coziness and familiarity in watching the family navigate conflict, coming-of-age, love, joy, and grief all at the same time.
8. Elf
Ok, this one may be a stretch, but this comedy centers on a complicated family, as orphaned Buddy ventures from Santa’s Workshop to meet his biological father in New York City. It speaks to the power of the families we’re born into and the families we choose, and offers a heartwarming ending that includes the patriarch of the family breaking a cycle of neglect.
Of course there are many more great films than I’ve listed here. I welcome you reaching out to share your favorites.
