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Learning simple ways to think differently about yourself and your experiences can lead to greater balance and improved wellbeing. This is not about fixing yourself, but rather paying attention to where you are putting your attention.
What have you been thinking about today? From what perspectives have you been viewing it? For example, as I write this article, it’s 11:25 a.m. and I find myself thinking that I’ve not accomplished enough important tasks this morning. The reality is that I’ve already exercised, helped my child with a snag in her schedule, and responded to multiple emails. How might I refocus my attention to offer myself greater spaciousness, self-acceptance, and wellbeing?
Positive psychology, mindfulness practices, and spiritual understandings reveal that what we focus on amplifies (Orenstein, 2021). With greater awareness, we can choose to understand experiences in alternate ways. Not necessarily ignoring our frailties, but shifting how we view ourselves and adopting a more compassionate viewpoint.
Many of us notice that at times we are having thoughts that don’t serve us well. To reboot our thinking in more helpful ways, we can learn to interrupt a habitual cycle. We can notice our thoughts, and then intentionally shift toward understandings and viewpoints that offer enhanced balance, compassion, and positive emotions.
You might wonder why shifting your habitual thoughts and reactions would make a difference. Neuroscience reveals that the neurons (pathways) in the brain take action together repeatedly. So, when you engage in a familiar habit, thought, or behavior, that well-worn trail creates an automatic, easily used pathway that becomes your “go-to.” People tend to repeat the same patterns, using these familiar pathways over and over. For example, when you feel afraid, you may habitually seek out snack foods; you may get mad and act out by behaving unkindly to loved ones; when you make a mistake and you may label yourself dumb or stupid.
When you take a more mindful perspective, paying quiet attention to your thoughts, you may become aware of your well-worn habits – where they serve you well and where they don’t. You can begin to notice and change these habitual patterns, choosing more mindful, kind, self-accepting thoughts and behaviors. Gradually, these new choices can strengthen alternate neural pathways in your brain and become new habits to propel you toward greater wellbeing and flourishing.
A mindful mindset can empower you with greater flexibility to understand and shift your perspectives about situations you find yourself in (Carson & Langer, 2006). A mindful mindset can help you adjust to situations with enhanced meaning and self-acceptance, enabling greater learning from mistakes and better choices.
5 practices to help reduce negative thinking and shift toward greater balance
1. Offer yourself opportunities for new beginnings. Do you view yourself as a “finished product” or a “work in progress”? If you believe you have the potential to change, then learning and seeing things from alternate perspectives can provoke ongoing personal growth. Dr. Ellen Langer’s research at Harvard University indicates that simply shifting from rigid language such as this is or I am toward possibility words such as this may be or I could be, can generate alternative possibilities (Carson & Langer, 2006). This expanded spaciousness creates opportunities for personal change and acceptance of self and others.
2. Look for the humor. Sometimes, inviting yourself to notice what’s humorous about a situation can help you respond more mindfully. A Stanford University study (McClure, 2011) found that humor can facilitate changes in perspective, helping people re-evaluate situations and shift to new thoughts and scenarios. Of course, seriousness has a place, but sometimes humor can be a strategy to shift attention and perspective.
3. Consider other perspectives and possibilities. There are many ways to do this. For example, viewing a situation through a more optimistic lens – is this really the worst thing that ever happened, or is it a difficult, but minor setback you can overcome as you usually do? Consider other options and evaluate them. Talk to someone you trust to discuss other possibilities.
4. Notice and appreciate the good. Each day write down five things you feel thankful for – these items can be trivial and simple, or more profound. Research reveals that taking a moment to become aware of gratitude can boost positive emotions and well-being (Emmons & McCullough, 2003; Ben Shahar, 2012).
5. Slow Down, Wake Up, and Breathe. At one or more points during your day: Pause to pay attention as you breathe in the gift of gratitude for something or someone in your life and then breathe out the gratitude.
How can you reduce negative thinking in your life?
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only. No content is a substitute for consulting with a qualified mental health or healthcare professional.
© 2024 Ilene Berns-Zare, LLC, All Rights Reserved
