The presidential election of 2024 is approaching rapidly. As the final day nears, we find ourselves bombarded by pundits, commentators, political ads, and social media posts claiming that if our side loses the election, life as we know it will come to an end. The problem with this message in our divided electorate is that regardless of who becomes the next president, roughly 50 percent of us will be disappointed, scared, and angry. In essence, it feels as though the entire country is waiting to see who will win the ultimate playoff game. As countless coaches have told their teams, we need to do what we can to help our side win and hope for the best, but the real test will be how we choose to behave after the title is determined.
Since we can’t predict the future, we don’t know how things will go. There is nothing wrong with hoping for the outcome we desire and anticipating the relief it will bring, but we also need to think about how we will cope if things don’t go our way. As lawyer, orator, and Civil War veteran Robert Green Ingersoll observed, “The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart.” In essence, he was describing what psychologists now refer to as resilience. The American Psychological Association defines resilience as “the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences, especially through mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility and adjustment to external and internal demands.”
In practice, that means accepting that things won’t always go our way and finding a way to continue despite that. When someone we care about contracts a disease that is likely to be fatal, we can give in to despair or think about how to provide support for the ill person, incorporate the characteristics we admire about them in our own lives, and even do things in their honor.
When coaches prepare their team for a big game, they emphasize preparation, dedication, and optimism. But when they don’t win, good coaches encourage their players to analyze what went wrong, work to improve their skills, and focus on the next challenge. They don’t urge their players to give up, blame the opponents, or give in to anger or despair. They encourage them to learn from the defeat and remain committed to the team and their long-term goals. When it comes to this election, those of us whose presidential pick doesn’t win will have to choose between giving in to depression and feelings of helplessness, panicking about the future, getting cynical or violent, or looking for constructive ways to continue to support and further the causes we believe in.
If we aren’t happy with how the vote goes, we need to focus on improving the system. We could volunteer at the polls, campaign for fair districting in our community, address problems with voter registration, or get involved in increasing voter registration. If there is a cause we are deeply concerned about, whether it is the economy, climate change, gun safety, abortion, or free speech, we can devote time and energy to promoting civil conversation and compromise so we can get things done rather than bickering and blaming each other.
We can all become more media and science literate, and help others to do so as well. Understanding where a piece of information comes from, what it means, and who it is intended to influence can help us weigh the veracity and value of the things we hear and prevent us from inadvertently spreading false news.
In the 40-odd years since Mothers Against Drunk Driving was founded by a mother whose daughter was killed by an inebriated driver, social norms and policies around drinking and driving have changed significantly. Similarly, in November, the people on the losing side of this election will need to think long and hard about what they can do to make things better, even if it is hard, takes time, and doesn’t necessarily compensate for the things they personally feel they have lost.
The parable of the two wolves in our head provides an interesting way to think about resilience, determination, and truth. Although the tale is often attributed to Native American sources, it appears to have been popularized and possibly created by 20th-century preacher Billy Graham. Like much of what we consume in our media-driven world, its origins are murky, so we are left to analyze its meaning. As the story goes, an old man told his grandson that two wolves are constantly fighting in our minds. One wolf represents greed, hate, self-pity, and envy. The other, joy, peace, love, and kindness. When the grandson asks which wolf wins the battle, the grandfather replies, “The one you feed.” Regardless of where this story comes from, it cleverly illustrates the fact that we can choose which thoughts to nurture as well as what we say to others and how we behave.
Over the ages, humans have proved remarkably resilient. If we are among the 50 percent of Americans who are disappointed by the results of the coming election, we need to take a step back and decide how we can make things better going forward, despite the setback. Refusing to accept the outcome, committing violence, or vilifying the people we disagree with won’t fix the problems we face. No matter who wins the 2024 election, we will all need to regroup and find a way forward.
