Source: Nuala Walsh
“I don’t know who I am … I never really got the chance to uncover my own identity. I didn’t have a family. I didn’t have a childhood.”
For most people, identities are crafted on social media, at the gym, or in the workplace, but Lisa Marie Presley inherited a monumental legacy. In her posthumous memoir From Here to the Great Unknown, she reflects on her struggle for authenticity as her father’s heir. A double-edged sword, identity can be shaped by circumstances or crafted through conscious choices.
This may seem like a theoretical nuance but how well you balance what you inherit with what you construct can dictate your lifetime well-being.
The Fragility of Inherited Identity
Identity signals to the world who you are and what you stand for. While aspects like nationality or race are fixed, other dimensions are active choices. For instance, you can choose to be a bracelet-wearing Swiftie or a Honda-hugging biker, but not whether you are Indian or German.
Identity is partly shaped by strangers or colleagues. Think of labels like ‘talented’ or ‘weird.’ Such labels, titles, or character descriptions have power. They contribute to a weight of expectation and fear of disappointment. When others define us, it’s hard to break free. The planted ideas become internalized, and messages become self-fulfilling.
Lisa Marie Presley was labelled ‘sad’ from a young age, progressing to a ‘wild child’ as a teenager. As the King himself said, “The image is one thing, the person is another.”
The Presley family home became a shared symbol of refuge. How fitting that father and daughter were buried at Graceland. And how ironic that both died of the same complaint: heart attack—one brought on my barbiturates fed by a desire to elongate their legacy, the other tied to bariatric surgery complications stemming from a desire to not disappoint that legacy.
When you lose parents young, false memories can misshape your sense of self. With unreliable impressions, you inherit other’s observations, myths, and descriptions. This power of suggestion sticks. In Presley’s case, it stuck through four failed marriages, a stop-start career, and opioid addiction. It became a cage. She had access to endless opportunity yet rejected notoriety, fearing comparison with an impossible ideal. Her music career only started at age 40.
Similarly, her son Benjamin struggled, experimenting as a chef, businessman, and musician, never quite solidifying his career choice. Yet her daughter Riley carved out an identity as an actress, producer, and author.
When your surname is associated with a business or dynasty, it can be simultaneously a gift and a curse. The privilege can seem like a gift to outsiders. The Murdoch, Kennedy, or Hilton empires give their offsprings seats at board tables or at political podiums. Similarly, Hollywood embraces the Fonda, Douglas, Curtis, Roberts and Washington clan. Nepotism and advantage, however, can spawn learned helplessness and even exclusion as a minority outgroup. Resentment is common, yet many would still accept the fishbowl of fame for financial security.
Inherited identity can overwhelm the tycoon’s, surgeon’s, rock star’s, or politician’s family. The concept of ‘role conflict’ explains how individuals caught between others’ expectations can experience deep distress. The pressure to replicate image, success, or talent can lead to intense anxiety, burnout, or imposter syndrome. Some even conceal their identity. To experience life as a “normal” person, actor John David Washington kept his father Denzel’s identity secret, telling people that his dad was in jail or in construction. J.K. Rowling adopted a pseudonym to express herself creatively. But as every influencer, marketer and spin maestro knows, you can curate your own brand—regardless of birthright, race or nationality.
Operationalizing it is a real source of power as identity can be shaped.
The Power of Self-Created Identity
Your identity lies within your control, whether you’re an Olympic medallist, bestselling author, or Nobel Prize winner. Image, appearance, or profession can be reconstructed and rebranded.
Some celebrities like Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, or David Bowie have been masters of reinvention, evolving their personas to stay relevant. Brands do it strategically. Anderson Consulting, for example, became Accenture post-Enron.
Today’s culture emphasizes personal branding. Many of us believe we have the power to define who we are based on our interests, choices, and persona. Self-created identity offers that agency.
Some maximize inherited legacy. Paris Hilton fought against constant Barbie perceptions. “I was sick of that narrative, and I just wanted to tell my story,” she has said. After her grandfather announced a 97 percent donation to charity from his $2.3 billion fortune, she built her own empire. Later, she used her voice to highlight abuse in correctional homes like the one where she was institutionalized as a teenager.
As I discuss in my book TUNE IN: How to Make Smarter Decisions In a Noisy World, identity traps lead to severe misjudgment. By trying to impress others, you acquiesce personal power. Identity can also be shattered by divorce, bankruptcy, redundancy, or retirement—when status shifts to ‘unemployed,’ ‘widow,’ or ‘orphan’ in a flash.
When the world sees you through a different lens, knowing how to cope is a source of power. Following her son’s suicide, Lisa Marie Presley transitioned from rock star heir to bereavement advocate. “I’ve dealt with death, grief and loss since the age of nine,” she said. She found renewed purpose to cope with grief. She wrote, “You’re going to have to find something that’s probably nothing that you’ve done before.” This integration of inherited and self-created identity aligns with the theory of self-determination which emphasizes the importance of autonomy.
Blended Identity
Ultimately, identity is a blend of inheritance and personal creation; the path to fulfillment lies in embracing this duality. While we may not control the family or city we’re born into, or the societal labels we inherit, we can control how we integrate and redefine those elements.
Everyone inherits something. Inheriting an established brand can provide privilege and expectations. Whether inherited or curated, the most important part of identity is knowing when to embrace what’s given and when to forge your own path.
As Oscar Wilde once said, “Just be yourself. Everyone else is taken.”
