There seems to be an epidemic of loneliness in the world today. We wonder why. Yet, if you look around—a train, a café, a school, even a family dinner table—everyone is connecting with something non-human—mainly their phones. Yes, it’s great to be able to have personalized playlists at your fingertips, photos, Siri to answer questions, and TikTok to watch funny cat videos. But we seem to have lost an element of human connection. And it may only get worse as AI becomes more prevalent. There are already prototypes for AI “friends” available for those seeking “companionship.” I certainly don’t pretend to be above it. When I post this very blog on social media, I check for new “likes” all day. When I don’t get many, I feel bad. And when I get several, well… I feel okay, I suppose. And I certainly do my fair share of “doom-scrolling.” I, for one, have been feeling that I need more human connection in my life lately, and I’ve decided to do something about it by reaching out to other “creatives and thinkers” for discussions and sharing ideas… in person!
Source: Unsplash
I wonder if some of the division, anxiety, and anger in the world today may be alleviated by more actual human connection. It’s so easy to rant on Facebook about the issues of the day, but no one seems to actually connect on a human level. We don’t talk to each other. There is so much power in human connection. And it doesn’t cost a cent.
Human Connection Through Creativity
As a music therapist working in a hospital setting, I see (and more importantly, feel) the power of human connection every day. I could even say that my job really is about creating human connections through music.
Music can make you feel good. Music can soothe. Music can empower—all of those things. But what really makes my work rich and, I think, beneficial, is the human connection created during a shared music experience. Music (or any art form) is a great connector. We can communicate through music in a way that we cannot through words. Music even transcends spoken language. We can show and feel empathy through music. And we can be present with each other within the music. This can be very powerful in a hospital setting, especially for someone in the ICU on a ventilator, or someone in the oncology unit who is alone because their immune system is compromised. In both cases, there’s a severe lack of human connection, which may have a significant effect on medical outcomes.
Those who are experiencing a challenging disease or are fighting for their life (or even searching for resolve or accepting fate) are often dealing with extreme isolation. Conversations with medical staff mainly involve treatment plans, medication schedules, physical therapy goals, and monitoring “numbers,” but what often seems to be missing is connection on a more human level. Music connects. Music (and art, and poetry, and creativity) connects on a human and spiritual level, both to others and to self. I see it and I feel it every day. Working with patients within a music therapy experience is dynamic. It’s a give and take. We guide each other and we “move” together. Even if the patient that I’m working with is non-verbal, confused, or barely holding onto any last bit of consciousness before transitioning. We connect. We always connect through music.
A Recent Music Therapy Experience
I walked into the room. It was dark and she was in the bed, the covers right up to her chin. She’s in her 80s, can no longer speak, and can barely communicate. She’s moving to hospice care. There seemed to be some mild agitation and that is why I was referred to see her. Her palliative care doctor thought music could help with comfort. (Kudos to this doctor.)
I sat next to the bed. She seemed a bit uncomfortable, occasionally moving her head back and forth and moaning a bit. I took out my guitar and, as I usually do, I worked to make a connection with her…. through music. How? I observed her and sat with her for a few moments. (Just being present can create human connection.) When the music was introduced, I tried to match the music to how she may have been feeling at that particular moment. I initiated the music with some light, purposeful tension, and played what I was feeling and getting from her. We connected within the music experience. As we started to progress, I gradually moved the music away from the tension and more towards soothing and harmonic themes to help prompt a relaxation response. [How much and how quickly I move, depends on her. On what I’m receiving back. Not through words. Through feeling. Through connection.] Her face started to soften and her moaning gradually subsided. I noticed her breathing was starting to slow and deepen. So, in support, I slowed the tempo… guiding her breathing with the music and connecting with her on an aesthetic level. We moved together. My music slowing… her breathing slowing. Her moving towards comfort… my music supporting her. [At this point, the music was almost “moving” through me on a somewhat unconscious level. This happens often.] After about 30 minutes, she seemed to be sleeping. Her face soft. Her body quiet. I brought the music to a close. She looked comfortable. Relaxed. Asleep.
Yes, the music was “nice.” Music is always nice. But this was something more. This was human connection through a shared music experience. A give and take on both a conscious and unconscious level. The music was dynamic, moving, changing, slowing, breathing with her, and facilitated by what I felt from her — what she was giving me. This cannot be done with recorded music. This is music therapy. This is music therapy facilitated by a trained music therapist. This is connection through music on another level.
Yes, she needed the music. But what she needed more, was human connection. And this doesn’t just work in a hospital setting. We can all connect with others through shared aesthetic and creative experiences. Perhaps that’s a place to start. And, perhaps, that can maybe lead to actual conversation. (And empathy… understanding… acceptance… compassion…)
As technology advances and people are feeling more and more isolated, perhaps getting back to human connection is what we truly need. We seem to have lost, or even disregarded the power of simply connecting on a pure human level. But there is so much power in being present with someone else. In listening. In understanding others’ inner thoughts and feelings. There’s so much power in simple human connection. And music…
Creativity Essential Reads
“Music is a world within itself, with a language we all understand.” – Stevie Wonder
