Source: Ximena Nahmias/Unsplash
October is Domestic Violence Month—and a good time to be reminded that women are not the only victims. Men are victims too.
As a society, with gender stereotypes and a long history of male violence against women, the dominant perspective often is that intimate partner violence involves a female victim and a male perpetrator. This belief, or bias, contributes to the denial or minimizing that a man can be abused and victimized by his intimate partner.
I’d like to make the case that men can be hurt and scared, and are too often unable to reach out for help. When they do, they risk not being believed. For help and healing to be options for male victims, they have to be believed.
Intimate Partner Violence and Male Victims
Intimate partner violence is when one partner seeks to overpower the other by using violence, coercion, verbal and emotional abuse, threats, etc. Violence isn’t always necessary to achieve dominance in a relationship.
Domestic violence statistics updated October 2024 by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC):
- In the United States, nearly every 1 in 2 women and more than 2 in 5 men reported experiencing intimate partner violence at some point in their lifetime.
- Every minute, 32 people experience intimate partner violence in the United States.
- 1 in 4 men in the United States has endured severe physical violence from an intimate partner.
Male victimization is a significant public health issue (CDC, May 2024). Data from the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS) reports that men endure a high frequency of intimate partner violence, sexual violence, and stalking.
Intimate partner violence statistics:
- About 1 in 3 men experience some form of contact sexual violence (such as rape), physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime.
- Nearly 56 percent of men who were victims of contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner first experienced these or other forms of violence by that partner before age 25.
Sexual violence statistics:
- Nearly 1 in 4 men in the U.S. experienced some form of contact sexual violence in their lifetime.
- About 1 in 14 men in the U.S. were made to penetrate someone during their lifetime.
- More than 1 in 38 men in the U.S. experienced completed or attempted rape victimization in their lifetime.
- Among male victims of completed or attempted rape, about 71 percent first experienced such victimization prior to age 25.
Stalking statistics:
- About 1 in 17 men in the U.S. were victims of stalking at some point in their lifetime.
- Nearly 41 percent of male victims first experienced stalking before age 25.
Who are the perpetrators of male victimization?
CDC reports that male victims usually know their perpetrators. Among male victims of stalking and sexual violence, the abusers were most often current or previous intimate partners or acquaintances.
The sex of the perpetrator is relevant to the type of violence. According to NISVS, mostly men were perpetrators of rape and unwanted sexual contact against male victims. The perpetrators against men of other types of sexual violence, such as sexual coercion and being made to penetrate, were most often women. The stalking of men is perpetrated by both women and men. The perpetrators of intimate partner violence against men are mostly women.
Sexual violence statistics:
- 87 percent of male victims of (completed or attempted) rape reported only male perpetrators.
- 79 percent of male victims of being made to penetrate reported only female perpetrators.
- 82 percent of male victims of sexual coercion reported only female perpetrators.
- 53 percent of male victims of unwanted sexual contact reported only female perpetrators.
- 48 percent of male victims of lifetime non-contact unwanted sexual experiences reported only male perpetrators.
Stalking statistics:
- 46 percent of male victims reported being stalked by only female perpetrators.
- 43 percent of male victims reported being stalked by only male perpetrators.
- 8 percent of male victims reported being stalked by both male and female perpetrators.
Intimate partner violence statistics:
- 97 percent of men who experienced rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner had only female perpetrators.
Domestic Violence Essential Reads
Let’s be clear: Women can perpetrate abuse and violence against a male intimate partner.
Traumatic Impact on Male Victims of Abuse
Like female victims of intimate partner abuse, male victims experience the same types of traumatic harm. Male victims of intimate partner violence commonly reported that they experienced fear, concern for safety, and symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, among other harms (CDC, May 2024).
Like female victims, male victims need our empathy, our support, and our acceptance of their abuse, traumatic entrapment, and victimization. Judith Herman, MD, author of Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence—From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror, acknowledges that true healing can take place only when we as a society embrace the cause. Let’s open our hearts and minds to male victims of intimate partner violence.
©Lambert
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-7233.
