Couples don’t want to argue, but solutions like “I’ll try not to get so angry” or “I’ll just accept things the way they are” go by the wayside in a flash. Humans are wired to connect, which is why these solutions are paper-thin—we often are not actually OK with this new and unwanted status quo. (In turn, when true feelings are buried for the sake of avoiding arguments, people often go on to complain, spend more time with friends, or even have an affair—which, again, are not solutions to the distress in the relationship.)
