Although grief is something we all go through in life, the process is different for each person. That can make it feel like an isolating experience.
After a grieving woman revisited a beach that holds deep meaning to her, she met a man who offered her an inspiring sentiment.
Their interaction highlighted the impact of embracing community when processing grief.
The woman took to TikTok to share how trips to this beach have gradually helped her approach her grieving heart with compassion.
Rachel Havekost is a mental health advocate and writer who posts content to “help [people] feel less alone,” as her bio details. She recently posted a short video of her smiling and sitting peacefully on a beach.
In the caption of her video, she expressed how her first love said his last words to her on that very beach 12 years ago, and she occasionally revisits the beach to reflect on the experience and feel connected to him.
“What didn’t I say? What didn’t we know? What, if anything, could I have done to change the passing of time?” she wrote.
Part of the grieving process usually entails reevaluating how you could have avoided such an outcome, but Havekost emphasized that this will not do you any good, as these circumstances are out of your hands.
“I know now that what-ifs don’t move grief along, and I can’t change time, so trying to rewind the clock is fruitless,” she shared. “What I do know, though, is that if I’m willing, my heart has the chance to expand instead of collapse.”
“Tonight, instead of curling up in a ball on my couch, I lay arms open on the hood of my car at the beach with music blasting,” Havekost added.
The woman shared a touching interaction with a wise stranger who taught her an important lesson about grief.
Rather than succumbing to the inconsolable depth of her sorrow, Havekost chose to step outside her solitude and embrace her community by revisiting the beach that held memories from long ago.
While she still felt sorrow and loneliness, the change of environment and exposure to others experiencing their own complex lives allowed her to recognize she was not alone.
She expressed how she smiled at everyone who walked by her, hoping to spread love and kindness. As she did this, she stumbled across another grieving man named Jeffrey, who shined his light onto her.
“I met a man at the beach today. We were both grieving, and he pointed to the sky to show me a star,” Havekost wrote in the text of her video. “I couldn’t see it, and I got frustrated. Soon, the sun set, and in the black sky, there was the star.”
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“He smiled and said, ‘Sometimes you have to wait for the darkness to see the light,’” she relayed.
In other words, sometimes, it is through darkness that we learn to recognize and embrace the light that always surrounds us.
Jeffrey brilliantly allowed Havekost to interpret this small but immense notion for herself, and his beautiful message signified her alignment on her path. She was meant to be at this beach this evening so they could share an inspiring interaction that she would take home with her and share with others.
Havekost’s experience emphasized how light cannot exist without darkness and vice versa.
Grief is an unimaginably painful experience that we all must face at some point in our lives. With birth and life eventually comes loss, sometimes when we least expect it. However, beauty and peace can emerge from grief, and we cultivate this experience by embracing our connection to the world and others — by accepting that there is always light to experience when faced with darkness.
Sometimes, in your darkest moments, the best thing you can do is surround yourself with support and love from others, even if they’re strangers.
Allowing yourself to coexist in the intricacies of shared spaces can remind you that you are never as alone as you feel. By spreading kindness to others, you attract boundless love in return, coating your aching heart with warmth.
While the pain of grief stays with you forever, we all have a choice to respond to our pain with compassion or with desolation. Choosing the former may not be easy, but with time, it can significantly impact the trajectory of your healing, teaching you to focus on the beauty that can emerge from loss.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango’s news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.
