Do you do things that get in the way of your goals and dreams? Humans are funny things. We can know what we want but then find ways to set up obstacles through bad habits or brutal self-judgements. I can hold myself back, but I’ve lived long enough to know the risks and to know what to do to limit self-sabotage.
Here are 7 common traits of people who tend to always succeed, according to psychology:
1. They plan their days ahead
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Keep it simple. Before you start your day’s activities, write out the five priorities for the day. I do this by referring to my longer-term goals first. Then, I write out my next steps in order. Now, there is no second-guessing. I am in ownership mode.
Research by the University of California, Irvine indicates that planning your day significantly boosts productivity by reducing cognitive burden, providing clarity on tasks, enabling prioritization, and minimizing stress by giving a sense of control, essentially allowing individuals to live more intentionally and manage their time effectively.
2. They disconnect from past shames
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The illusion of the past has sabotaged humans over the course of history more than anything else. And yes, the past is made up in our heads.
We’ll allow ourselves to hold ourselves back if we can’t forgive. We are limited if we’re guided by a story of who we think we are. How to let go?
You must find the strength to stop thinking about the past and replace it with a ruthless bias to action. Fill your day with movement.
New actions will start to redefine the image you hold of who you are. Use action like a powerful poison that stifles the growth of new, pernicious thoughts.
According to research published by the book Making an Impact on Mental Health, shame is linked to social threat with a variety of possible primary threat emotions, including anger, anxiety, and disgust, and often with a sense of defeat, loneliness, and disconnectedness.
3. They take care of themselves
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Make a stand for who you are and your pride in yourself by respecting your mind and body. Do what you need as a non-negotiable before all else.
Responding to emails does not place higher than meditation or going for a 30-minute walk. The more you replace people-pleasing with positive self-interest, the more progress you will make.
4. They have a consistent routine
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Most of us are in tremendous conflict because we’re self-conscious. We are in self-doubt. Why? People tend to give very irrational answers to such a question. Ask them.
It’s ultimately mind-boggling. Forget yourself. This takes courage. Focus on the system. What’s your system? Brushing your teeth every day is a system. And it works. Systematize, and don’t get lost in self-obsession.
In research published in the Journal of Personality and Individual Differences, “systemizing” refers to the cognitive drive to analyze, understand, and build systems by identifying patterns and rules within them, often associated with a stronger tendency in males compared to females, and is a critical concept in the “Empathizing-Systemizing Theory” which posits that individuals vary in their propensity to either empathize with others or systematize information.
5. They eliminate negative self-talk
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“You’re so lazy.” Hear that? Yep, that’s your negative self-talk part of you, which — believe it or not — is acting in your self-interest. It wants you to be safe, and it wants you to do better. But that pressure cripples you.
It decreases your effectiveness and makes you feel small. You know this. If the voice pipes up for me I know it’s time to do one thing: turn away from thoughts and get into motion and the visceral beauty of the present.
Research extensively links negative self-talk to a range of negative consequences, including increased stress, anxiety, depression, decreased self-esteem, impaired cognitive performance, and can even contribute to physical health issues. According to a 2021 study, the more someone engages in negative self-talk, the more likely they will experience these detrimental effects on their mental and emotional well-being.
6. They do one thing at a time and they do it well
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Sabotage is far more likely when we’re in our heads. We can’t be in our heads if we’re doing one thing at a time. How? Because we’re no longer in planning or thinking mode. We’re in motion. We’re in the flow of doing. In this state, we’re gifted with a stream of insight that lifts us higher.
Research by the American Psychological Association shows that focusing on one thing at a time, also known as “single-tasking,” is significantly more productive than attempting to multitask, as the human brain is not designed to effectively handle multiple tasks simultaneously, leading to decreased efficiency, increased errors, and mental fatigue when switching between tasks.
7. They do one hard thing each day
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We create unnecessary obstacles when we perceive ourselves as victims in our own life stories. That’s the epitome of self-sabotage. Quit blaming others for your struggles and take responsibility. This starts by doing one responsible thing. Do the hard thing today.
An article by the Association for Psychological Science indicates that actively facing and engaging with something you’ve been avoiding, often referred to as “exposure therapy” or “approach-based coping,” can be highly effective in reducing anxiety and overcoming avoidance behaviors, even though it may initially feel uncomfortable. Essentially, the more you avoid something, the more stress it can trigger, so confronting it directly can help desensitize you to the fear over time.
8. They’re unapologetically bold
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Boldness is underrated. Hesitation will be the slow death of you. Every action you take that is half-hearted defines your reality and will be met with an equally flaccid result.
You don’t need to know what you’re doing to be bold. You needn’t know what the future holds to be bold. No one does. We’re all in the fog.
Research published in 2022 in the International Journal of Psychophysiology defines boldness as a personality trait characterized by a low sensitivity to threat, often associated with a willingness to take risks and act confidently in the face of uncertainty, with studies showing that individuals high in boldness tend to exhibit reduced reactivity to aversive stimuli and display greater social dominance. This trait is often studied concerning emotion regulation and its potential links to various psychological conditions.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient.
