I have just realized that I am not in my childhood anymore. The people who hurt me then are long gone and my environment now is safe. So why am I clenching my jaw, cowing my head, rehearsing what I might say, swearing inside? There’s no need to do those things anymore.
CoDA has taught me that there is a me that exists free of the coping strategies and mechanisms of survival mode. I am that me, and my Higher Power fuels that me – always has her back, knows her path and guides her, will never leave her alone.
I may think I am alone, but my Second Step Prayer is in my memory and in this moment I can believe that I am never alone. Through meetings, literature, prayers and readings, I release myself from survival mode. I build a bridge to my Higher Power – I change. I am precious and free.
Paula 07/30/2024