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For many women, understanding the intricate power dynamics and systemic structures that shape our lives can take decades. These systems, deeply rooted in patriarchy, are designed to set men up for success while leaving women struggling to fit into roles that were never made for them. The complexities of these structures often remain hidden until we find ourselves in the midst of them, questioning why things feel so much harder for us than they do for our male counterparts.
As women navigate their professional and personal lives, they encounter a series of paradoxes: conflicting expectations and societal norms that complicate their journey toward empowerment and success. These paradoxes are not just frustrating; they are fundamental barriers that keep women from fully realising their potential.
In my new book, Women Rising, I explore six key paradoxes that women can face. Each reflects deep-seated gender biases that women must navigate daily. Among them, the Leadership Paradox stands out as a particularly pervasive and challenging issue for working women.
The Leadership Paradox: The Unspoken Challenge
The Leadership Paradox is a stark illustration of the double standards women face when they step into leadership roles. On one hand, women are encouraged and even pushed to ascend to leadership positions. Organisations often champion the goal of more women in leadership. Yet, when women arrive in these roles, they are often met with conflicting expectations about how they should lead.
If a woman chooses to lead with empathy and collaboration, traits that come naturally to many, she might be seen as lacking decisiveness or strength. Conversely, if she adopts a more assertive, traditionally “masculine” approach, she risks being labelled as aggressive or unfeminine. This paradox creates a no-win situation: Women are either “too soft” or “too hard,” but rarely “just right.”
By embracing one’s own approach to leadership—balancing compassion with decisiveness—a female leader can not only survive but thrive, helping to shift the culture of their organisation in the process.
What You Can Do About It
Understanding the Leadership Paradox is the first step to overcoming it. Women in leadership must recognise these double standards for what they are: artificial barriers that do not define their capabilities or worth.
Practical tools and strategies to navigate this paradox include building resilience, fostering mindfulness, and cultivating a leadership style that feels authentic, rather than forced. It’s about creating space for women to lead in ways that are true to themselves, rather than bending to fit a mould that was never designed with them in mind.
Navigating Your Leadership Journey
To help you reflect on your own experience with this paradox, consider these questions:
- How do you feel about your current leadership style? Are there aspects of your approach that you’ve felt pressured to change to fit others’ expectations?
- Have you ever felt penalised for being “too soft” or “too assertive” in your role? How did you respond, and what impact did it have on your confidence and leadership journey?
- What steps can you take to align your leadership style more closely with your true self? What support systems or practices can you put in place to help you lead authentically?
- How can you contribute to shifting the culture of your organisation to be more accepting of diverse leadership styles? What actions can you take to support other women who might be facing similar challenges?
The Leadership Paradox is just one challenge women face on their journey to empowerment. By confronting it head-on and reflecting on your own experiences, you can begin to redefine what leadership looks like, not just for yourself, but for future generations of women.
