Men love to make us happy. If they love us, that is their number one goal. Make us happy. They feel “pound their chest” good about themselves. They see it as doing their job as a boyfriend — a job well done if they have provided that happiness for you.
I have known about his “happy” knowledge for several years and kept it in mind during my current relationship. I let him know what makes me happy so he can provide me with those things. He makes me happy therefore making him happy and all manly. It’s not as easy as it sounds, working at it takes some practice as the following tips illustrate.
1. Share what makes you happy
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Don’t make him guess. If he does something that you like, tell him. He can’t read your mind any more than you can read his. If you think he “should” know, think again. Verbalize and you get what you want. You’re happy, he’s happy. Win-win.
What else can you do to get what you want out of your relationship, and make sure it lasts? Research from The National Library of Medicine says this can look like trying to understand your partner’s needs, discussing relationship problems with them, and even showing them you love them.
2. Find out what makes your partner happy
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Let him know that making him happy is what you want to do too. Ask him to share some things with you that make him smile. It may be intimacy, and we know that, so get specific. Again, verbalize.
3. Follow through on your promises
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Do what makes him happy. If you are going to ask for him to participate in this being happy thing, you have to follow through and do what makes him happy too.
4. Tell your partner you don’t need them to agree with you to make you happy
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We are both separate people with different ideas of what we want and just doing what one of you wants defeats the purpose of being a partnership. Yes, he may eventually like what you are doing, but it’s still just what you want. Collaboration can create magic and isn’t that what we all want?
5. Let your partner make you happy
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If you have given him the tool to make you happy, then let it happen and be happy with it. Never fake it. If you don’t like something anymore, tell him before he goes to the effort.
Remember, if you are happy, he is. Telling your partner you love them, and meaning it, will make you happier in the relationship, research says.
6. Be grateful when your partner makes an effort
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Tell him how happy you are with what he provided for you. If he took you to your favorite restaurant, be grateful to him for remembering and making the effort to give you what you like. Showing your partner gratitude can make you happier, and make you view your partner in a more positive light, studies from Harvard Medical School show.
7. Be patient with your partner
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Sometimes, we need to let them know everything we need to make us happy. Maybe they didn’t have good training growing up or they just keep making mistakes. Be grateful for the effort and say next time this is what I would like.
The biggest message is communication. And the best way to do that? Research from The National Library of Medicine says this can look like sharing stories of what makes you happy, trying to understand from your partner’s point of view, and even responding to and validating their love language.
If they need to be reminded, do it and ask them to remind you if you forget. This isn’t about doing it right or doing it wrong. It is about loving together the best way we can. The win that we have to remember is that if it makes you happy, he is high-fiving himself and feeling all manly. And being happy.
Audrey Groeschel is a Certified Life Coach, Positive Psychology Coach, and a Strengths, Needs, and Values Coach. She helps people using directed techniques to step into a richer life for themselves.
