Work can be a place of high demands and quick changes. Deadlines, difficult conversations, or sudden changes can trigger intense feelings like frustration, anxiety, and even anger. These emotions can impact your decision-making, relationships, and overall well-being. It’s easy to feel your feelings rise when things go wrong or pressure builds. But when your feelings take over, they can steer you into poor choices. Instead of letting them rule, you can learn how to steady yourself and stay in control.
If you feel yourself getting “worked up” at work, here’s a simple guide to keep your cool.
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Pause and Observe
When you feel your emotions building, the first thing to do is stop. Pause. This pause is key. It lets you break the cycle of quick impulses. Once you’ve paused, take a step back and look at what’s going on inside you.
Start by naming the feeling. Are you angry? Frustrated? Tense? Try to give your feelings a name. Then, on a scale of 1 to 10, think about how strong the feeling is. This helps you understand the depth of what you are experiencing.
Now, shift your focus to your body. Our bodies often show signs of stress before we realize it. Is your heart pounding? Do your muscles feel tight? Are you warmer than usual? By noticing these signs, you ground yourself. You can manage what you know.
Consider the Consequences
As you become more aware of your feelings, you may feel a strong urge to act. Maybe you want to shout, send a harsh message, or make a hasty decision. Pause here. Don’t rush to act. Just notice the urge. Then wait.
Now think about what could come from your actions. If you follow the urge, what might happen? Ask yourself, “Will this help or harm me?” Look ahead and picture the results. Could it damage your relationships or hurt your reputation? By considering the positive and negative outcomes of your actions, you’ll gain more clarity and be less likely to respond reactively. Often, stepping back will help you see that waiting is better than acting in the heat of the moment.
Practice Calmness
If this pause still hasn’t reduced your reactivity, it’s time to find a way to calm down. Some people like visual relaxation techniques and some like physical.
For visualizers, find a quiet spot and picture yourself somewhere tranquil. Perhaps on a tropical beach, getting ready to surf. In this visualization, the urge to act on your emotion is like a wave that’s about to rise. As the wave (urge) builds, you stay on top of it—observing its strength without letting it pull you under. It starts slow, then builds as it gets closer. You don’t need to fight it. Stay steady as it rises. Ride the wave as it crests and eventually breaks into shore. When it does, you’ll feel calmer. If it rises again, ride it again. Spend about 10 minutes practicing this mental exercise or until you feel more in control of your emotions. Afterward, reassess the consequences and decide on the best course of action.
For those who prefer a physical approach, try progressive muscle relaxation (PMR). PMR involves systematically tightening and then loosening your muscles bit by bit. It’s a great way to shift your focus from your emotions to your body. This also helps calm the mind. Start by sitting or lying down. Start at the top of your head or the tips of your toes. Focus on one muscle group at a time. Squeeze that muscle to about 75% to 80% of your maximum strength for five to 10 seconds, release, and let go. Feel the difference. Repeat the process with the same muscle, then move on to the next one. Continue this practice for five to 25 minutes, working through your entire body. The goal is to train your body and mind to recognize tension and relaxation, so you can release tension more easily in moments of emotional intensity.
By stopping, looking within, and taking small steps to ease the tension, you can manage your feelings at work. These tips are simple but strong tools. They help you respond with clear thinking rather than pure emotion. It’s not about shutting down feelings. It’s about learning how to ride them without letting them sweep you away.
