Source: Copilot/Microsoft
You’ve found a job that feels exciting. Your education, knowledge, and experience are fresh. You’re eager to show what you bring to the table.
Then comes the first big meeting. You have been preparing to show what you have—optimism, insight, and innovative ideas.
You take a seat and listen intently as the discussion begins. You lean forward in the chair to show interest and confidence. Your exuberance builds. Finally, the chance to speak reveals itself, so you point out the value of automating a process using the latest AI technology.
“Always with the AI, the young ones. Slow down there. We’ve looked at that before. It can’t work.”
The feeling of dismissal is painful. You realise that your seniors barely even heard your idea. What stopped them from listening to you?
You Miss the Impact of “identity”
In the 1970s, psychologists Henri Tajfel and John Turner highlighted the “social group” portion of our self-identity (i.e., social identity). Along with individual qualities, people derive esteem from the fondness we have for the collective categories that shape our identities. This includes professions, as well as the length and type of work experiences employees have.
The multigenerational workforce currently in workplaces makes work-related identities salient. Newer employees are bound to feel that the relevance of their work experience is challenged when working alongside colleagues who have been in the workforce for decades. Understandably, more seasoned employees desire to protect and enhance their value. So, if you come across as very confident, it can be seen as too critical of the way it has always been done, which may have become an inexorable part of someone’s identity. As a result, the reaction may be more defensive or dismissive than you would like.
Quick and confident suggestions from new employees don’t stand a chance when they brush up against the engrained identity of an industry veteran. They won’t win favour (even if said with good intent).
The best advice is to get a senior employee exposed to your idea before the ideation meeting. Try asking them about how the meeting might unfold, and then telling them that you may have a worthwhile suggestion. Ask if they will “set it up” for you. I suggest something like “Can you please introduce this suggestion in the meeting and then throw it to me to expand on?” Explain that although you do not expect immediate buy-in, you know that suggestions are known to be given more attention when they come from a colleague.
They Don’t Trust You (Yet)
Someone not trusting you does not mean that they think you are untrustworthy. Lack of trust does not mean mistrust.
The trust that makes others listen to your ideas does not stem from traditional notions of loyalty or “paying your dues.” Scholars suggest that leaders trust those whose input is squarely and unambiguously in the interest of the organization. This requires a patient approach to learning how to add value versus a focus on how to shine.
Understandably, early career professionals may be in a hurry to get ahead and to get noticed. However, their energy and urge to contribute may be seen as being too quick to illustrate their expertise. If early-stage contributions smack of self-interest or self-aggrandizement, trust will take longer to build. Trust is ultimately awarded by others.
Start by hearing out the experience of those with more tenure. Build up some good faith by showing your desire to listen and learn. It is an investment.
Resist that initial urge to shine too brightly in that first meeting. You can prevent innovative contributions from being misperceived as arrogant by slowing the contribution part down with a carefully crafted approach.
One that works is to write down your idea instead of voicing it. Then, consult with your supervisor about it. Find out what has been tried before and ask if there is a way to get the suggestion heard without seeming presumptuous. Ask if they can help you make it compelling. Indicate that while you think your idea is interesting, you also know that you may not have enough experience to feel out its applicability.
By slowing down, you get time to show your idea, garner support, and provide a healthy acknowledgement of your inexperience. You will get another chance to get heard.
You Rely Too Much On “Data”
Citing evidence based on “data” can seem like the best approach to getting others to listen. You may have access to data that proves a point—but citing it is often not enough to make others listen. Researchers have found that even well-verified conclusions are often rejected when they run counter to assumptions.
While the use of visualization can make data more effective, it is not foolproof. In fact, some data visualization types (e.g., the correlation scatterplot), do not elicit careful attention (i.e., listening). They tend to be seen as unclear (i.e., people may not understand correlations very well) or because—again—they run contrary to identity-based beliefs.
Try to make visualizations easy to understand and visually appealing, and be sure to think carefully about the case you are making. Scott Berinato’s comprehensive and practical guide, Good Charts, does a great job of outlining how this kind of planning can turn data into compelling, emotive imagery.
Berinato’s guide encourages three key questions to ask before making a chart: What do I want to convince people of? What bits do I want to isolate and emphasize? What data points do I need to alter to complement or contrast with the main point?
Learning to use visualizations requires ditching the “on the fly” Googling of statistics. Instinct may tell you otherwise, but relying on “proof” ignores the role that emotion and curiosity play in getting others to listen.
You’re Too Certain
According to renowned organizational researcher, Amy Edmondson, “notions of success” in organizations may be better illustrated by flexibility and a desire to learn than attempts to show mastery. In other words, curiosity may be a better road to listening than suggesting solutions.
Contributions are heard more readily when you illustrate your willingness to ask for input. Being OK with the fact that you have much to learn from others speaks to curiosity and a desire to get better. It’s not enough to tout a growth mindset. It needs to be seen by the leaders of your organization through asking, not certainty.
We all know that it’s important to be confident. However, coming across as certain is not the same as having confidence. Confidence is more about being OK with what is as opposed to being certain of something. This nuance is especially important in the face of those who may in fact know more. There is increasing evidence that humility might be more indicative of confidence and is more likely to lead to being heard.
Instead of being sure of oneself, try highlighting what you may have missed and what you don’t know. In those first few meetings, limit yourself to asking questions and use tentative language (e.g. could be, might be, maybe, perhaps). Take notes on your ideas. When you do put an idea on the table, make sure you precede it by saying something that acknowledges your inexperience.
Research shows how clear signs of workplace curiosity make others more receptive to “new empirical and theoretical insight.” Choosing to put inquiry first, ahead of expertise, will illustrate your confidence.
Another great approach is to try asking the kind of questions that help others examine assumptions. For example, you might ask, “Are the current market conditions changing such that another approach is worth checking out?” or “I have an idea that might be worth testing out. Can I tell you about it?”
Ever since the groundbreaking persuasion research of Shelly Chaiken in the 1980s, psychologists have known that the most powerful engagement comes from asking questions. It tends to make others think more carefully about our suggestions.
Early career professionals can successfully be both eager to contribute and humble enough to know when to back off. While more experienced workers might not always know better, sometimes they will. Experience is not the only thing that matters, but it is still a thing that matters.
You Might Sound Like You’re Complaining
Upon entry to organizations, it takes some time for employees to develop a sense that the organization values their contributions, or what researchers call perceived organizational support (POS).
Psychologists have also found that lower POS at the early stages of a job is associated with suggestions that sound less creative and more like complaining. Complaining is generally disengaging to potential listeners unless it is constructive.
I have found that every employee who is seen to be complaining sees the complaints as well intended. And they likely are. But for them to be seen as anything more than whining, be sure that they clearly include clear, outward expressions of tentativeness, curiosity, and an alternative suggestion.
The latter is likely the most important for getting others to listen to your ideas. After all, when a contribution is seen as a complaint, it is not an idea at all.
In my work, my most frequently suggested rule for team meetings is “no critique without alternatives.” This is an excellent rule to make for yourself, too.
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Yes, it’s difficult for today’s generation of employees to avoid claiming their knowledge loudly. Understandably, those whose education runs parallel to some of the most impactful changes in technology and business want to be consulted and involved. And they must be—for the sake of the modern organization.
But getting others to listen to your expertise must be slow, thoughtful, and humble—and must begin with a deep knowledge of these listening killers.
