Everyone parents differently. After all, there’s famously no universal rule book. So, when you leave your child in the care of others, even at a sleepover, it’s important to clearly communicate your rules and expectations ahead of time.
One mom failed to do so but was upset when the parents who hosted the sleepover made decisions that she deemed “inappropriate” and against her rules.
The mom who hosted the sleepover broke another parent’s rules without knowing.
The mom hosted a sleepover for her 15-year-old daughter and four of her friends. “From what I observed, the girls had a lot of fun together and were all very respectful of each other, my husband and I,” she wrote in her Reddit post. The girls had fun eating junk food, watching a movie, and staying up late — all classic slumber party activities.
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It wasn’t until the mom later received texts from one of the girls’ parents that anything seemed amiss. “Most of the girls’ parents thanked me and my husband for hosting and said positive things, but one texted me a list of all the things I did wrong,” she admitted.
As it turned out, the other mom was bothered by multiple things that happened at the sleepover.
“The first thing that upset this mom was the fact that my daughter and her friends went swimming in our backyard pool,” she said. However, she confirmed with the moms prior to the sleepover that this activity was OK. “When the sleepover invites were sent out via text message, I asked the moms if they were OK with their girls going swimming. All of them said ‘yes’ or ‘that’s OK with me’ except for the complaining mom, who simply liked my text,” she shared. “I assumed this meant yes.”
She added that all the girls passed a swimming safety unit in PE, and her husband passed a lifeguarding course from the Red Cross, so she wasn’t concerned with the teens swimming.
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However, that wasn’t the other mom’s only problem. “The mom’s second issue was the food the girls ate, which she deemed unhealthy,” the mom said. “I, however, did not see an issue with this because I think eating junk at sleepovers is OK.”
The mom also took issue with the movie they watched, “The Fault In Our Stars,” which she felt was “inappropriate” despite being rated PG-13. The other mom’s last complaint had to do with what time the girls went to bed.
“The final thing she was mad about was the fact the girls didn’t actually go to sleep until midnight,” the mom who hosted wrote. “As a mom myself, I understand because I want my daughter to get enough sleep. However, both my husband and I do think that sleepovers are a time when it’s OK to stay up late, provided the kids let the parents sleep (which my daughter and her friends did). Additionally, the girls woke up at 8:30, meaning they got about eight and a half hours of sleep.”
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The other girl’s mom should have communicated her rules more clearly.
Parenting Place said, “If you’re trusting your child to another parent, gently explain your expectations for supervision and also what your child needs to feel safe.” It was really the other mom’s job to explain her rules and boundaries for her daughter. The mom who hosted is not a mind reader and couldn’t possibly know what she wanted.
Communication is essential when it comes to sleepovers. You have to share your expectations so they can actually be met. Otherwise, the family hosting will simply do what they think is right.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news and human interest topics.
