Two people sit under a large tree on a bench by the river. The tree is full of blossoms; many lightly fall to the ground like snow. One person is annoyed, continually swiping at the air and their clothing to get rid of the falling petals. The other person is smiling, covered in petals.
Both have the same experience externally but different internal experiences. One resists. The other is welcoming and having fun. You could say the latter is practicing the art of non-resistance. When we can do this, life opens up in inconceivable ways. We are more at peace more of the time, which is vital for our health and our creativity.
Research from Stanford University on stress mindsets showed that viewing stress as a helpful part of life rather than as harmful is associated with better health, emotional well-being, and productivity at work, even during periods of high stress. One reason that how you think about stress matters is because it changes how you respond to stress.
If you want more confidence, it’s time to accept these 6 essential truths:
1. Understand why resistance hinders you
The first step is knowing why non-resistance is essential. We have a resistant thought when our reality is not to our liking. We hate what’s going on. We seize up. We grit our teeth.
We get annoyed. Our thinking is clouded. This is not a pleasant state, nor is it a resourceful one. We are likely to make mistakes in this state, and we create stress.
We know we perform better when we are relaxed and in flow. This understanding is vital, and it requires reminding. Now you have a purpose.
2. Decide to be open to not resisting
Next, we observe the power of choice. Are you willing to adopt a new way of interacting with reality? One that favors letting go over tightening up? Understand that positive aggression, used as a tool, is very different from being angry.
Aggression works with reality — with the creative flow of the Universe — whereas resistance tries to push against it. So now you have even more reason to resist less. Start visualizing a life free of resistance. What would that look like?
3. Use meditation as a practice
Meditation — even if for only three minutes each morning — can act as a superb training ground for the art of non-resistance. In meditation, you are essentially training your mind to observe in detachment. Most people have thinking habits that don’t serve them.
They have a thought that they dislike and get worked up about it. True freedom is granted to the man who can watch a thought float up and observe it without judgment. Practice this daily.
4. Bring a mindful approach to everyday life
Mindfulness, or the art of allowing your thoughts to become still through non-resistance and observation, need not be confined to your daily meditation practice. You can be meditative throughout the day. That’s the next step.
To begin exploring the beauty of mindful awareness brought to everyday things, like speaking to the girl serving your coffee or walking through town. Now, you’re instilling non-resistance and flow into living. The water mill doesn’t start to turn until the water flows through and pushes the wheel. In the same way, you won’t be in flow if you aren’t already moving.
Studies have indicated that individuals have shown a reduction in depression and anxiety levels due to the regular practice of mindfulness exercises. Positive psychology considers mindfulness, self-esteem, and self-efficacy as significant predictors of well-being. “You must be shapeless, formless, like water. Become like water my friend.” — Bruce Lee
5. Notice resistance
Bringing awareness to those moments when you resist reality is like shining a torch into a dark cave. The more light you bring, the more of a sense of what the cave looks like. This is understanding.
And with understanding comes a power that transcends human limitation. You are beginning to taste emotional control. Make it a game. Notice when you tighten up or whine in your head. You become quicker and quicker to catch it.
You continually drop your shoulders and loosen your grip. Awareness is instantly disarming. You are physically and mentally relaxed, putting you at a tremendous advantage. It moves you closer to the real you.
6. Take note of your wins
A cool thing happens when we are more fluid in navigating our lives — when we are accepting, though bold, in our actions. More opportunities appear because we are more creative and receptive to new insights.
We form stronger bonds with people. We can pivot quickly and stand up tall after a setback. We are less anxious and feel better, more alive, and more energized more of the time.
This will introduce more success. Be mindful of them. Note them down. Allow your wins to fuel you to accumulate more wins. When a blossom falls on your shoulder, will you fuss and fight? Or will you smile?
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient.
