“If it’s not a problem, it’s not a problem.”
When dealing with something like substance use, anxiety, or recovering from a trauma, how does someone tell when a problem is a problem? Sometimes, it’s more tricky than one would think. In our lifetimes, each of us will face several difficulties, a small number of which may reach a point where we need intervention to overcome.
The final call of what qualifies as a “problem” is subjective, and often, the only one who can choose what we seek help for is ourselves. Recognizing that we need support to work through a challenging experience takes strength and courage. Following are some indicators that something might be a problem.
1. It Doesn’t Match the Person You Want to Be. If you are engaging in something that doesn’t match the person you want to be, it might be a problem. For example, if you are someone who values honesty yet you are finding yourself telling lies to hide your substance use due to shame, then both substance use and lying might be problems you need to face. Often, discovering something is a problem means peeling away layers of self-deception and an incredible but worthwhile pursuit.
2. It’s Getting in the Way of the Future You Hope to Have. Something that gets in the way of the future you wish to have could be a problem. For example, if you struggle to complete your schoolwork due to concentration difficulties, despite your sincere aspirations to complete your degree, it might be time to reach out.
3. People Around You Would Say It’s a Problem. Sometimes, the people who care about us see that we are struggling with something before we do. It takes humility to reflect on others’ observations. If someone tells you they are worried about some area of your life, such as your eating or your happiness, take a moment to listen. They may or may not be correct. They might even have ulterior motives. But they could also be picking up on something you haven’t yet realized.
4. It’s Causing You Pain. It might sound simple, yet often a problem causes someone quite a bit of pain before they seek assistance. If you notice that something is igniting emotional, physical, or relational suffering in your life, it might be worth taking action sooner rather than later.
Closing
Only you can determine if you think something is a problem or are open to getting help. The process is often precarious and takes a willingness to look inward. Yet, accepting that something is a problem is an essential first step toward overcoming it.
To find a therapist, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.
