Coping with Two-Faced People When You Have C-PTSD
Source: Wasabi Publicity/Adobe/Вячеслав Думчев/used with permission
What do you do when straightforward communication is met with deceit and backstabbing? We’ve all been there—confronting someone directly only to discover they’ve been saying one thing to your face and another behind your back. It’s a frustrating experience that leaves you feeling confused and betrayed, regardless of who you are or what personal challenges you face.
What Motivates Two-Faced Behavior
Two-faced behavior arises when people shift their attitudes, actions, or opinions depending on the situation or who they’re around. This can happen for various reasons:
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Social Pressure: Sometimes people act differently to avoid conflict or to fit into various social groups, even if it means contradicting their true beliefs.
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Fear of Rejection: Insecure individuals may conceal their real thoughts out of fear of being disliked or excluded.
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Personal Gain: In competitive environments, people may manipulate situations to serve their own goals, even if it means acting deceitfully.
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Feelings of Insecurity: Some individuals present different versions of themselves in an attempt to gain acceptance, driven by their own insecurities.
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Lack of Self-Awareness: People may not even realize they’re behaving inconsistently due to a lack of insight into their own actions.
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Moral Ambiguity: Those who cannot discern right from wrong may shift their stance based on what benefits them in the moment, often disregarding how their actions affect others.
What to Do about Two-Faced People
Recognizing two-faced behavior is one thing, but effectively handling it is another. Here are some strategies that may help:
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Build Boundaries: It’s important to clearly communicate your need for honesty and consistency. If someone crosses your boundaries after you’ve made them known, it may be best to distance yourself or address the issue directly. Their response will guide your next steps.
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Source Support: Surround yourself with trusted allies who provide safety and stability. Confiding in a trusted friend or family member can offer perspective and support when dealing with troubling behaviors.
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Get Grounded: Stay present by using grounding techniques like deep breathing or stimulating your senses. Such techniques can help you stay focused and calm in stressful situations, especially when dealing with deceit.
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Check Your Facts: It’s easy to get swept up in someone else’s narrative, but staying grounded in facts is essential. Write down what you know to be true to avoid getting lost in someone’s manipulation or deception.
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Practice Self-Care: Make sure to prioritize your own well-being. Engaging in self-care activities—whether it’s exercise, spending time with loved ones, or indulging in a favorite hobby—can help you recover from the emotional toll of dealing with two-faced people.
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Communicate Clearly: Assertive communication can often resolve misunderstandings, but if someone continues to act deceitfully, it may be best to disengage from the relationship altogether.
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Try Therapy: Talking to a professional can help you process your emotions and develop strategies for handling bad behaviors in your life.
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Detach with Love: Learning to observe others’ bad behavior without absorbing it emotionally can help you maintain your peace of mind. Detaching doesn’t mean you don’t care; it means protecting your own emotional well-being.
Dealing with two-faced behavior is something everyone encounters at some point. By building boundaries, seeking support, staying grounded, checking facts, practicing self-care, communicating clearly, and detaching with love, you can navigate such situations more effectively.
Ultimately, the way others behave says more about them than it does about you. Stay true to your values, and let that guide your responses. Remember my motto: Say something positive, see something positive!
