If you’ve been to bars in major metropolitan cities, chances are you’ve come into contact with a “pickup artist” or someone who knows how to flirt. This person tries his hardest to get your number by following a script. Whether he learned about pickup artistry from Neil Strauss’s book The Game or that VH1 show The Pickup Artist, the guy hitting on you is focused on one goal: getting women, including you, into bed.
But the opposite is not true in a “pickup artist school” for women. London’s Flirt Diva Academy focuses mainly on how to flirt and the best flirting techniques women need to know so they can effectively flirt. According to “flirt coach” Sue Ostler, flirtation is “lighting the spark to your personality and letting people see it shine through,” and her Flirt Diva Academy serviced women ages 16 to 60 in classes like “Bag A Boyfriend” and the “Flirt Masterclass.”
Or, they could have partaken in a “Flirt, Schmooze & Shimmy” tour to hone their technique in flirting at London’s hottest bars. Helen Croydon, a journalist for the Times of London, braved the elements and a “Flirt, Schmooze & Shimmy” tour one evening, to reveal what she learned.
Here are 5 psychological tricks to flirt in a way he can’t resist, according to a female pickup artist:
1. Look like you’re enjoying yourself
When you look comfortable and like you’re enjoying yourself, it lets your date know that you’re having a good time and that you’re enjoying their company. It will also help put them at ease if you aren’t showing signs of anxiety.
2. Be aware of your surroundings
Make note of your surroundings so you can comment on interesting-looking cocktails or the music. Anything to keep the conversation going.
3. Make eye contact
When you make eye contact with your date, hold it for five seconds. You could even smile or wink. Smiling and winking are physical ways a person can flirt.
How important is eye contact in attraction? One study found that two strangers who gazed into each other’s eyes for two minutes developed passionate feelings for each other.
Денис Нагайцев / Pexels
4. Lean inward while you chat
This lets him know you’re actively listening and are interested in what he has to say because your body language says more than anything. An example that he’s interested in you from his body language. According to one study from Oxford University, it’s swaying his body.
5. Use the “AEIOU” theory
Ask a lot of questions, use your Ears to listen, show your personality by using “I” statements, be animated like saying, “Oh, my God!” and make the person you (U) are talking to the focus of your conversation. Well, most of this advice is so obvious — look like you’re enjoying yourself — that you would assume the only women who need to hear it are the ones who live in the proverbial attic with 17 cats. But sadly, if this academy exists, it probably means there is a market for it.
Jessica Wakeman is a reporter, writer, and editor with 16 years of experience covering society and culture.
