As many women like to joke, if men got their periods, they’d likely get paid time off for each menstrual cycle. That’s a topic for another time, but if a woman can afford to take time off to recover from her period, then she absolutely should.
Not everyone agrees, however, and one woman “felt insane” after her own girlfriend got upset at her for taking time off of work due to the extremity of her cramps.
The woman said that her girlfriend got mad at her for taking 2 days off of work because of ‘period cramps.’
In a Reddit post, the woman explained she is 24 and her girlfriend is 34. Due to the debilitating cramps inflicted by her period, the woman decided to take two days off from work to rest.
She texted her girlfriend to ask how she was doing at work and to let her know she was taking the day off because she was “tired.”
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Despite their 10-year age difference, her girlfriend seemed to exhibit rather childish behavior.
“To her, it seemed like I had normal period pains and one day off is OK, but two is excessive,” the woman wrote. “I tried to explain to her that I actually had horrible cramps and spent hours in fetal position taking pills after pills that weren’t working.”
Obviously, “tired” is an understatement for the amount of pain, discomfort, and lethargy the woman said she was feeling. “Tired” was simply her brief explanation over text, but her girlfriend argued that it was a poor choice of words and evidently took it personally.
“She got mad and said I should’ve been precise with my words and not just say I was ‘tired,’” the woman added. “She says I’m trying to create problems when all I had to do is communicate well, and if I had done that, then she wouldn’t have assumed I was being lazy.”
The woman asked the Reddit community for advice, explaining she doesn’t have friends to go to and she hasn’t come out to her family yet.
Reddit users expressed confusion over why the woman’s girlfriend was upset, calling her selfish and inconsiderate of the woman’s situation.
Especially being a woman herself, the girlfriend should know better than anyone how uncomfortable and agonizing menstruation can be. The woman further explained her family has a history of ovarian illnesses, so she experiences excessively paralyzing cramps.
The woman already used her sick days at her job, but they offer additional days for emergencies, and due to the amount of pain she was in, she decided to use those extra days — a decision she is entitled to.
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“You literally haven’t done anything wrong,” one person commented. “God help you if you try to take a mental health day without justifying it to [your girlfriend] first.”
She and her girlfriend do not live together, so the woman’s choice to take time off work wouldn’t affect her girlfriend personally. Yet, the girlfriend felt justified in her reasons for being upset, claiming that she’s tired too and “pushing herself” to work and care for her partner.
Of course, it can be challenging to balance work responsibilities with your partner’s personal needs, but it’s unfair to get upset at your partner for this. After all, choosing to be in a relationship means you are willing to make sacrifices to be there for your partner from time to time — and you should never blame them.
It’s bizarre that the woman’s girlfriend would get so defensive, rather than sympathetic, over her choice to rest. It alludes to the fact that because the girlfriend still had to work, she likely felt jealous and projected her judgment onto her partner.
Ultimately, if the woman has resorted to calling off work two days in a row because of her period, then it’s likely for good reason, and she doesn’t owe an explanation to anyone.
The woman admitted she wants to break up with her girlfriend, but she’s afraid of being lonely.
In the comments, the woman revealed further details about her relationship, implying that they have been experiencing communication issues, her girlfriend tends to make assumptions, and she has various toxic tendencies.
“I feel like she sees me like a lazy, weak child,” the woman expressed. “We were toxic from the jump. She said she does see my efforts to be better but then berates me like this. I want to believe she just wants the best for me, but I don’t think I should be treated like this either.”
The woman admitted she is considering ending their relationship but is afraid of how lonely she’ll feel.
“My summer is kinda all on her … she’s the one with the cool friends,” she wrote. “She has a car. We can go anywhere [and] do fun things. If I break up, it’ll be another lonely summer watching everyone have fun or go and try to make friends, and I’m sick and tired of that.”
Other Reddit users offered support and advised her that it’s better to feel lonely for a temporary time than to stay in a bad situation.
“This person doesn’t sound good to you. She sounds mean and bossy,” someone suggested. “I hope you find the strength to leave and are able to fully come out to your family in due time. Life’s too short to start with someone [who] thinks you’re weak.”
Being in a relationship with a woman myself, I can vouch for the fact that women are emotional creatures, and things can sometimes get blown out of proportion due to each other’s heightened states. However, empathy, compassion, and support for each other are non-negotiable in a lesbian partnership, especially when one is on their period.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango’s news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, adventure, and spirituality topics.
