Source: Open Clipart-Vectors / Pixabay
Lobsters are not the nicest-looking shellfish (crustaceans) but, nevertheless, they offer important lessons for us as we age.
I recently took a boat tour on Prince Edward Island, Canada, where we visited the edge of a small island designated as a seal sanctuary and also learned about lobsters—their structure, habits, life cycles, etc. The tour stimulated me to reflect on how being in nature can teach us about our own existential quests for meaning, especially as we transition through midlife. As Joseph Campbell, author of The Hero’s Journey, so wisely advised, “The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature.”1
A bit about the lobster:
- Lobsters can either swim or crawl forward and backward (by curling their tails or using their eight walking legs).
- They are green or yellow but turn red when cooked.
- It is believed that lobsters can live long lives—perhaps even to 100 years.
- They have very poor eyesight, relying on taste and smell, and their claws are very strong.
- Fishers are required to return small or very large lobsters back into the sea.
Perhaps the most important lesson we can learn from the lobster has to do with molting. Molting is the process by which a lobster wiggles and struggles out of their current, older, smaller shell so that a new, softer, larger shell can be exposed and eventually hardens in place. The lobster takes in water to expand its body size to fit the new shell until their body grows to the size of the new shell.
Molting happens frequently when a lobster is young, before settling into a routine of molting every year or so when it is older. (The term “soft shelled” lobsters refers to lobsters who have just molted and are now in a new growth phase.) Importantly, if an older adult lobster is unable to find the energy to grow and shed, it will die and rot inside the older, smaller shell.
Our Own “Molting” Process
Find Meaning by Embracing Growth
The lobster knows instinctively that in order to grow, it must shed its shell. Unfortunately, we may ignore this same instinct to grow and take on new challenges, opting instead for the comfort and security of our current surroundings (even if we know they are too small and constraining).
We often associate growth with youth and then as adults resign ourselves to continue living the same life year after year, hoping that not too much will change around us that might force us to change ourselves. But in doing so, we are living lives that are, like a heart monitor signaling death, flat-lined.
So avoid retiring, withdrawing, or disengaging with life and others and instead vow to embrace life, all of life, the ups and downs, the joys and the sorrows.2
The overall goal of life is to discover who we are at our core and then to take the necessary steps to live from this core. Life is a journey of continually reinventing ourselves, shedding our negative programming and false identities to get to our true self and live a fuller, authentic expression of ourselves.
Question: What have you outgrown? What is keeping you in a smaller, more constraining shell?
Acknowledge the Struggle and Do It Anyway
The lobster receives signals that it has grown too large for its small shell and it’s time to molt and transition to a larger shell that will enable its growth. It acknowledges the natural cycle of being called to change, entering the unknown, enduring the struggle, and welcoming a new beginning. The lobster trusts that in this cycle and in time, it will grow stronger and more resilient.
Unfortunately, we, as humans, receive many signals that it is time for change and grow yet we opt to ignore these signals. We lack the courage to move forward into the unknown and start something new. Often, we don’t want to take the risk of being a beginner and not knowing how to do things perfectly. We might also not have the energy to wiggle ourselves out of our existing circumstances!
Environment Essential Reads
Question: What signals and other discomforts have you been ignoring? Are you willing to be vulnerable?
Keep Your Eye on the Prize—the End Result of a More Meaningful Life
Change takes initiative and continual effort. It is important to think about how we will feel at the end of the process or even at the end of our lives. Will we feel freer? Will we be at peace, feeling we have lived a happy, meaningful life? Will we feel we lived a life being true to ourselves, expressing who we really are, and making the world a better place for others? Or will we have regrets that we lacked the energy and confidence to take on new challenges and pursue growth?
Question: Are you living a life true to yourself?
Like the lobster, it is best to embrace the natural process of growth. Let the lobster be your guide to challenge yourself to not get stuck in circumstances that no longer fit you. Come out of your shell and embrace new beginnings, in midlife and beyond.
