A wife admitted that she’s beginning to question the marriage she has with her husband after noticing the reaction he had regarding their newborn son.
Posting to the subreddit r/AITAH, she claimed that her husband’s attitude changed after she got pregnant and gave birth, and now she’s questioning everything despite how much the two of them have been through.
Her husband demanded a paternity test for his newborn son, or he wouldn’t sign the birth certificate.
In her Reddit post, she explained that she and her husband grew up from similar backgrounds. Both of their families lived paycheck to paycheck, and not many of their respective family members even graduated from college.
Because of that, the two of them worked hard in school and earned their degrees, now earning more from their careers than other people in their families.
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“When we got married, I was already a homeowner of a small house and had a car,” she recalled. “My husband, however, had a lot of debt and his credit was trash. It wasn’t his fault, he had significant student loans and had frequently had to help his family members with money.”
She decided to help her husband with his debt because she eventually wanted to have children, but didn’t want any financial issues weighing them down that would prevent them from being able to start and take care of their family.
At one point, her husband was making $80,000 while she was making $100,000, and he ended up moving in with her so that they could split financial expenses 50/50 and he wouldn’t have to worry about paying rent.
She covered the mortgage costs and home insurance, and with money left over would help slowly pay off her husband’s debt, including his car loan which was in her name. Eventually, she managed to secure a better job opportunity that would require her to travel around more. After speaking with her husband, they both agreed that this was not something she should pass up and she ended up accepting the position.
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“The travel job paid more but it was so hard on me. I was traveling to the backends of small towns where the big warehouses and data centers are located, and the job is physically demanding, pulling cables, moving equipment, and working in very cold conditions. I was miserable in this job and ended up with some back problems, but it was a sacrifice for our family.”
Due to her excessive traveling, her husband questioned whether the baby was actually his.
“When I was 8 months pregnant, my husband asked for a paternity test. It came out of nowhere, and I asked him if he didn’t trust me, and he said he did, but because I did so much travel, he just needed some assurance for his peace of mind,” she continued.
Her husband claimed that his family and friends have questioned how he could be sure about her pregnancy when she’s spent so much time outside of their house. Upon hearing this, she admitted that her husband’s doubts that she remained faithful broke her heart, especially considering all that she’s done for him and their marriage, including taking him in and helping pay his debts and bills.
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At seeing his wife’s reaction, he dropped the paternity test request, but three months after giving birth to their son, it was reopened. He “put his foot down” and insisted that he wouldn’t sign his name on their son’s birth certificate without a paternity test. However, she told him that his name was already on it since they were married and she filled out the paperwork at the hospital, which infuriated him.
“Here I am stuck married to a man who not only doesn’t love me or trust me but is an idiot. His family is calling me and pressuring me to let him do the test. My family is offended on my behalf but some mutual friends are saying a test is not a big deal. But it is such a slap in the face after all I have done for him,” she declared.
Research has shown that without trust, relationships suffer. According to marriage.com, communication, honesty, and having your partner’s back are integral to building and maintaining trust. Unfortunately, this dad seems to be lacking these three traits.
Once trust is lost in a relationship, it’s often hard to get it back, especially when one person is assuming that something nefarious happened when that’s not the case.
She’s reassured her husband on multiple occasions that not only is their son his, but she hasn’t stepped out of their marriage, and it’s disheartening that he can’t believe her and is just taking the word of his family and friends.
If he can’t trust that what his wife is saying to him is the truth, then unfortunately, the future of their marriage might not be quite secure. She shouldn’t have to subject herself to a paternity test when she’s never given him a reason to doubt the love that she has for him and the family they’ve started.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.
