A bride-to-be was accused of being “selfish” and unreasonable for refusing to let one of her bridesmaids alter her dress.
The bridesmaid wanted to ‘modify’ her dress because she felt the one the bride chose ‘made her look fat.’
“I have always loved the aesthetics of the Regency era, and I wanted to incorporate it in my wedding,” the 26-year-old bride wrote in her Reddit post. “So I decided that my bridesmaids will wear empire waist dresses, like the ones seen in ‘Bridgerton’ or ‘Pride and Prejudice.'”
She explained that the majority of her bridesmaids were obsessed with the idea — except for one who expressed her displeasure.
“One of my bridesmaids is very mad at me for insisting that they wear empire waist dresses,” the woman wrote.
“She claims that the dress looks unflattering on her due to her body proportions,” which she described as “broad shoulders, a large chest, large arms, a small waist, and thin legs.”
She felt that the high waistline combined with her large chest made her waist appear “much larger than it actually is.” She added that the silhouette emphasized the arms and “made her look fat and triggered her past body dysmorphia and insecurities.”
Her bridesmaid questioned if she could modify the dress to be a more flattering fit. She shared that she didn’t want to feel uncomfortable on the day of the wedding, especially since she was going to be in the ceremony for everyone to see.
The bride was unwilling to accommodate, insisting that she wanted all of the bridesmaids to wear the same dress.
“I didn’t want her to stand out,” the bride admitted. “She said I was being selfish and that I wasn’t taking into account other people’s body types. I said she was acting extremely entitled. It’s my wedding, and I shouldn’t have to cater to her insecurities.”
And in terms of bridal etiquette, she’s right. Stylist Sarah Sommer told Brides, “A bridesmaid who hates their dress has two choices: smile and wear it — remembering you agreed to be the bride and your friend’s support on her day — and focus instead on your hair, makeup, and accessories. Or, she can talk to the bride about how she feels in the hopes of coming up with some kind of compromise.”
The bride is valid in wanting her big day to be special, and ultimately, the decision is up to her. However, if this bridesmaid is someone who she considers a close friend, then it would be kind of her to consider a compromise rather than brushing off her concerns.
As one commenter put it, “Bridesmaids are supposed to be the most important women in your life. They’re not hired backup dancers for your big day. Don’t you want them to feel excited and beautiful, too?”
Modifications may have made the dress slightly different than that worn by the other bridesmaids, but it likely wouldn’t be noticeable to anyone other than those privy to the backstory. As the bride, all eyes will be on her regardless of her bridesmaid dresses.
Kyryk Ivan | Shutterstock
In the comments, people encouraged the bride to rethink her approach to her bridesmaid’s dress.
“Speaking as someone who very seriously doesn’t look good in Regency gowns, I sympathize with her,” one user wrote. “You’re going to decide which is better — making a serious concession in the name of friendship and fun or pretending that making one of your bridesmaids feel ugly is a good thing to do for a picture-perfect wedding.”
Another commenter suggested, “It might be worth googling and maybe talking to a seamstress online to see if there are tricks to make an empire waist dress more flattering while keeping the silhouette. Sometimes minor adjustments have surprising results.”
“Your bridesmaid isn’t asking to derail your vision; she’s asking for a small modification so she can feel confident and comfortable on your big day,” a third Redditor chimed in. “A wedding should be a celebration where everyone feels good, not just the bride.”
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.
