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When it comes to understanding infidelity, the motivations behind men’s unfaithfulness have been extensively studied. Academics and the public alike are well aware of the potential reasons as to why men cheat—from psychological and evolutionary perspectives, as well as personal ones. But, what’s relatively understudied are the dynamics in which women are inclined to cheat. Their motivations have long been debated, with a clear consensus seemingly out of reach.
However, recent research from the journal Evolution and Human Behavior tested the many debated hypotheses regarding the driving factors behind women’s infidelity. The study’s ultimate findings highlighted a range of motivations, but five factors stood out most prominently. These are the most common motivations behind women’s infidelity.
1. Their Relationship Is No Longer Fulfilling
Overall, women’s most frequently given excuse for their infidelity is being unhappy in their current relationship—with a whopping 64.7 percent of women in the study having endorsed this reasoning.
When probed about their decision to cheat in this regard, one participant candidly shared, “To be honest, I was with my partner just because I was feeling lonely, and then I didn’t know how to break up with him. I never liked him, but I was vulnerable.” This sentiment captures a significant aspect of why many women stray—feeling trapped in a relationship that doesn’t fulfill their emotional needs.
In contrast, only 30.43 percent of men cited relationship dissatisfaction as their primary motivation for cheating. This discrepancy points to a crucial difference: a lack of fulfillment in a relationship—whether due to ongoing conflict, a lack of intimacy or simply attachment that has eroded over time—seems to push women toward infidelity far more than it does men. When the emotional connection falters, it seems women might seek solace and validation outside their relationship.
2. Their Partner Seems Uninterested In Them
The second most common motivation for women’s infidelity—nominated by 22.4 percent of participants—is the feeling that their partner is no longer interested in them or invested in their relationship.
According to one such participant who felt this way, “I felt neglected by my partner at the time; he always worked late and didn’t have time for me and our child. I just found myself getting closer to another man who was always available for me when I needed help.” These feelings of abandonment can drive women to seek some kind of connection elsewhere—especially when their primary relationship feels lacking.
Staggeringly, only 5.1 percent of men reported that they cheated for this reason, indicating that women are four times more likely to stray due to feeling neglected. Clearly, for women, feeling unseen or unheard in a relationship places them at a much higher risk of infidelity compared to men.
When women feel alone in their relationships—whether it be emotionally, in terms of childcare, or in domestic labor—the desire for attention and care can lead them to form connections outside their primary relationship. This may be in search of the validation and support they miss at home.
3. They Want Revenge
Intriguingly, 15.5 percent of women admitted that they cheated purely because they knew their partner was already cheating. One participant, when asked why she cheated, confessed that it was an act of retaliation: “I found an email of his where he was apparently looking for other women to date on Craigslist.”
This is another distinct area where men and women differ significantly, with only 2.9 percent of men citing this as their reason for infidelity—five times less than women. It seems that, for women, revenge is a dish best served cold.
Giving their partner a taste of their own medicine appears to be a compelling driving force, perhaps because it levels the playing field, or maybe because it provides a small sense of vindication. Whatever the reason, it seems that when women feel wronged, the urge to seek retribution can be a powerful motivator—pushing them to cheat as a form of emotional retaliation.
4. They’re Sexually Dissatisfied
The fourth most endorsed reason behind women’s infidelity, at 8.6 percent, was sexual dissatisfaction. Unsurprisingly, this is quite similar to the men in the study, with 9.4 percent of them citing the same reason.
One participant shared how this dissatisfaction drove her to explore other options: “I wanted to know I was still desirable and that other men wanted me if my partner ever cheated on me with another woman. Plus, I wanted to be experienced in sex.”
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Whether it’s a lack of good sex or the infrequency thereof, a fulfilling sex life seems just as important to women as it is to men. When this aspect of a relationship becomes dull, women, like men, may use any means necessary to satisfy it. The drive for a passionate and satisfying sex life can be a powerful motivator—and when it’s missing, women aren’t above seeking that satisfaction outside their relationship.
5. They’re Bored
One participant’s excuse for her infidelity perfectly sums up the fifth motivator: “I was overall just bored in the relationship.” This sentiment is echoed by 7.8 percent of women in the study who cited boredom as their motivation. In a similar vein, 5.2 percent of women attributed their infidelity to the need for novelty. It seems that when the routine of a relationship becomes monotonous, the allure of something new and exciting can be a powerful pull.
In terms of boredom, men and women are nearly tied—with 5.8 percent of men also citing this as their reason for cheating. However, men are almost twice as likely to cheat out of the need for novelty, scoring at 10.9 percent.
It’s clear that when a relationship starts to feel like stagnant water—with nothing new or exciting happening sexually, emotionally or in terms of present and future plans—women, like men, may seek stimulation elsewhere. Whether consciously or not, the search for something new can reveal that the fun and excitement they’ve been craving lies outside their relationship. From here, one thing leads to another; the quest for novelty can advance into infidelity, as the desire for a fresh, invigorating experience might become too strong to resist.
A version of this post also appears on Fobres.com.
